A More Thorough Art

Once again I have started writing a poem, and as usual, I have started it from the middle. Try as i might to restructure this poem by creating a beginning sentence, I find that that first sentence begins to set a different tone than what I'm trying to say. And though i end up writing a poem about my desired topic, the initial feeling which is captured in the random "middle sentences" that i jot down on the spur of emotion, is lost. The entire dynamic of the original poem is lost all with a beginning sentence that doesnt fit. Like my friend Alex always says, getting started is the hard part. I think she means, finding the beginning is the hard part.

With this tiring process of constructing a fully illustrative poem, I've recently come to realize what it really is to write a poem. All that we learn in school about why this poet chose to use this word instead of that one, or why the stress is iambic instead of trochaic, or why there is a repetetive "sh" sound or "lol" sound, that all makes sense now. No really, it does. I used to think all that, the diction, the meter, to form, the blah blah... had everthing to do with sheer coincidence. Why would someone so articulately plan their thoughts? Muahaha i was wrong.

I found that out while trying to construct ( and i say that instead of "write" because it really does consist of more than merely sticking your pen on your pape.) my most recent poem. While "writing", i was actually making deliberate choices for the sake of the poem and what it was supposed to be. For instances, I actually decided to use "a sorry hormonal release" instead of " a temporary hormonal letgo", because the latter had too many syllables. The interjecting stresses actually contrasted with the image I was trying to portray. and "letgo" muddled the tone. and i thought and have been thinking forever about how "an empty hormonal letgo" would affect the dynamic of the poem... and if the consonance of the r sound in "sorry hormonal release" is actually what i want...! Strangely enough, I find it was actually a deliberate choice i made to NOT use the words "she", as an attempt to erase the ecumenicality of the theme, and portray the poem as my personal opinion. There was actually thought there, about not using "she" and having a reference to "Romeo" instead of lovers. Each detail and nondetail was deliberate. Who would have thought it.

Miss Emily Dickinson, I finally have begun to understand you.

And now here is the baby poemling. : remember, i havent found the poems beginning yet.. you can help me with that. and so far... i havent put nearly as much thought into this as i have said i did..because i do not like the poem yet. hah.

What she wants is something more
than a sorry (or should i say "an empty") hormonal release
It'd rather be a conversation
composed of depth and true emotion
With the emergence of tongue not adventitious
but more to serve as melodic punctuation
It'd rather to not be a talk, that two talk everyday
but when spoken, in much more florid terms
with words even Romeo could never say
.........................

I'm thinking on it.

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