Airport Jazz

listening to: babies crying, some airport jazz; July 27^th 5am California time, but 4:40 pm Singapore time; Singapore airport, waiting outside the actual waiting room; feeling: like I want to jump of a cliff

Sometimes at UCLA (which I really miss right now…) I’d reluctantly drag my eyes to the electric green stare of the digital clock above me and find the time 3 or 4 in the morning, looking punishingly back at me. Well I didn’t need that son of a gun timepiece to tell me what time it was. I could feel it. Half past three in the morning and my body became a battlefield on which my brain and my eyes were waging a war over whether to close and remain shut or glazed over yet still open as I pretended to actually be absorbing information. This is the hour,--I can’t sleep. —but I can’t stay awake... --! What a strange and uncomfortable feeling—in between being mercilessly stretched from both arms while at the same time being constrained in a small box made of elastic walls. I don’t mind being in between two emotional states. Most of the time we juggle plenty. But juggling the multiple physical states of 3 or 4 “in the morning”, with the darkness of the night, with my eyes wanting shut with my brain wanting open with my brain wanting shut with my eyes wanting open and the pencil in my hand but the slackness of my fingers and the pillow on my seat but the rigidity of my shoulders and the darkness of the night and the promise of the morning and my eyes wanting shut or did they want open - - - - !!!!

Damn.

So that's how I feel right now.

Oh Singapore. This will be a long night.

America's Best Dance Crew - My "Mock" the Title Challenge

First off I would like to say that I enjoyed Lil Mama's variation on her ponytail this episode. I saw that done in Seventeen magazine I think four years ago... (I mean her variation on the ponytail, not the cutting a hole in your hat and sticking the ponytail out the top.) I always wonder if Lil Mama cuts the holes in her hats herself or if Randy Jackson pays someone to take care of that for the show. But anyway, I liked the new 'do Lil Mama, you really "turn't it out" with that one... or is it "turn't it up"... ugh she has a 12-word vocabulary on the show and I still don't know what she's saying.

So this episode was supposed to be a throwback to how last season's crews "performed the most astonishing illusions on stage." That's for sure-- and even after watching this episode I have yet to believe that any of these crews deserve the title of America's Best Dance Crew over any of the finalists from last season. So sorry.

However, I still find this season to be equally entertaining. This may be just because Mario Lopez and Layla Kayleigh have gotten even more annoying, Lil Mama makes even less sense, and the dance crews have gotten ugly-- and that's always entertaining when you're watching the show with a bunch of haters and their comedic minds. Me included.

The challenge this week was called the "Rock the Title Challenge," where the crews were asked to "physically transform to visually illustrate the title of your song." I consider this to be the long-awaited, first real challenge this season. In general, the crews "turn't it out" I'd say. Hahah oh Lil Mama..


First up was A.S.I.I.D. with the assigned song of "Roll" by Flo-Rida ft. Sean Kingston.
In general A.S.I.I.D. is on my "Save" list (as opposed to my "Shit" list), for the simple fact that their crew name isn't like almost all the other crew names on this season that simply consist of a superlative followed by some noun. In my mind or even during casual conversation, I still find it hard to quickly differentiate between all the completely unoriginal, indistinct crew names and place the faces to them. Not only do So Real Crew, Super Cr3w (ewww c'mon... l33t??), Supreme Soul, and Phresh Select all sound the same, but also their crew names don't really do much in terms of capturing their auras and attitudes. That's if they even have their own attitudes this season... which to me so far most of them don't. It's safe to say that last season each crew came with a unique crew "personality" that endeared us to them and their singular journeys through ABDC-- highlighted by their original crew names. There were the JabbaWockeeZ, Status Quo, Kaba Modern, Break Sk8, Fysh n Chicks, Live in Color, Iconic, and the Femme 5, none of which sound the same and each of which I can still clearly remember. As this season goes on I'm getting better at connecting the names with the faces, but the personalities just aren't there this season. And unfortunately I don't think that can be developed. As told to Layla Kayleigh backstage this episode (because that's the only place she ever is..) by some dude in So Real, "We're So Real, and that's so real.." Uh. Yeah...

Back to A.S.I.I.D. I really like that they don't call themselves "Awesome Crew" or something so highly creative like Super Cr3w. You know. Cuz throwing a 3 in there is so creative.

And I appreciate that with their unique name comes an original style unlike many else's. Later you'll see that I do find some similarities in choreography between some crews-- but not A.S.I.I.D. Their routine this week wasn't as good in my opinion as the last couple, but they still might be the one group that I like as much as I liked last season. The short girl "Meme" Wortham--hot, (more proof of that here.) Lil Mama surprised me and actually made sense today-- it was "sloppy," and after seeing how a lot of the other crews really banked on their song titles, it didn't feel like A.S.I.I.D. really did with the rolls-- but Shane liked it, and the one dude with the hearing aid and the big hair pulled some MEAN (and i mean niiice and sexy) body rolls so I was happy.

Next up was So Real Crew dancing to "Snake" by R. Kelly
As Mario introduced them he did his signature semi-shoulder-dance...thing... again. If I wasn't annoyed enough by you already, I would be now. Either go big or go home. Harlem shake or don't. It's even worse for me when you add the "hard" face to your semi-dance-I-don't-even-know-what-you're-doing every time ABDC returns from commercial breaks... please stop. We know you wish you could be a JabbaWockee, but, anyway I'll hate on you later-- back to So Real Crew (They're..."so real, and that's so real..."!)

Hahah I don't mean to hate on them at all because So Real Crew is a DAMN GOOD CREW this season. That's for sure. Although I can't tell them apart from other crews in looks except that they have two girls, again like I said, no distinctive personality, they kill it when they're on stage, except for the minor mishaps last week (which was a HOT performance-- I kept watching that over and over the entire week). I really liked their performance this episode-- they never left the theme ("Snake"), and were highly innovative with their moves-- lots of little details, such as the girl snake wranglers that J.C. highlighted, and overall good performance.

J.C. called their intro a little slow, and I noticed that this season is entertaining on another level-- alllll the passive aggression between the judges this season. J.C. tells a crew they're not dancing, Shane tells them that breaking IS dancing. JC tells a crew that their intro was slow, Shane tells the crew that a slow intro makes for a big ending. Dra-ma. I have to agree with J.C. on the not enough dancing comment he made to Super Cr3w last week though. I love b-boys, but this is America's Best Dance Crew not America's Best Break Crew. Throw some choreography in there, please.

Speaking of which, the next crew to perform was Super Cr3w... to which I say "3w". Actually let me just say ew, and receive a lot of hate mail from everyone out there that seems so unabashedly smitten by them. To be honest, I think everyone likes them just because they have a hand sign. Big deal, you could use that same hand sign (its your fingers in the formation of the superman "S") for S-upreme Soul. S-o Real Crew. S-hane Sparks. You could even use that hand sign for me, my name. I'm not completely dismissing Super Cr3w though, that would be S-tupid (throw up a hand sign!!!). That B-Boy stuff they do is not for the faint of heart, and they are definitely highly skilled breakers. That is pretty much all I can give them though. Their choreography is always on the S-imple (hand sign!!) side, I haven't seen much innovation in their transitions-- to be honest they remind me of S-tatus Quo (hand sign!!!!) from last season. I've been comparing them oddly enough to status quo, and the fact that there is a guy in Super Cr3w named "Do-Knock" and we know of the notorious guy from Status Quo named "E-Knock"-- I was having a riot. Both teams are similar in that they pull of some AWESOME STUNTS, and amazing tricks. This is what sets them apart, makes them good. But just like Status Quo, after a while there seems to be no method to the madness, not enough thought behind how to display the stunts, and ultimately, a crew like JabbaWockeeZ that bank on their creativity and intelligence when it comes to choreography and gluing the stunts together ultimately will prevail. Silly Super Cr3w, tricks are for kids. This comparison to Status Quo shouldn't be a disheartening one by any means though, after all Status Quo came in second place last season... (What the HELL was that...)

Anyway. Ben's air-flares were hot, Shane is too biased "for the breakers", entertaining performance for sure, and all of a sudden, just when I thought Mario couldn't get any more annoying, he starts talking... over J.C.!

I counted a total of three times that he interrupts J.C. during his commentary on Super Cr3w's performance, only to tell us that "I LOVE that they made it rain!!!"

Mario.
Mario Mario Mario. When did Randy Jackson make you a judge on this show?? Look, babe, there's a reason why he picked A.C. Slater and not Zack Morris to host the show. It's because you are to remain in the background. If you MUST tell us what you're thinking, try holding the mic away from your face. Thanks.

For a crew that I don't even like that much I sure spent a lot of time on Super Cr3w. Moving on to Boogie Bots.

Their assigned song this week was Lil' Flip's "Game Over."

Not much to say, I like the Boogie Bots. I don't think they are the best crew ever, but I think they are playful and deliver solid performances. Not the best performances, but they're solid. Of course, continuing on his stream of "let me take a more proactive role as the host of this show and start interjecting in places where I shouldn't", Mario juts in after the Boogie Bots' performance exclaiming, "You know for a second there, I thought I was taken back to like, the Ms. Pacman days!! Right!??"

At this point they pan over to the judges' table. I'm not sure if they meant to make it look as if they were ridiculing Mario as much as I am, but it was a sight--

JC: I'm just gonna stare at my notes and pretend I didn't hear that

Lil Mama: does a series of hand gestures completely implicative of "I don't understand where people get off thinking I'm the one that don't make sense-- I'm the voice of the young people!!"

Shane: smiiile and nod... JC please finish your "notes" and say something..

Mario Mario.

I liked the synchrony in the Boogie Bots' performance, that had that going even with the guy crouched down on the controller. Shane thought the outfits were hot-- really Shane? You didn't think they were seizure-inducing? Because I did. And then they had to pull the strobe lights on us-- how about that for seizures. But I'll give them that for innovation.

Alright I'm just gonna throw it out there that I love DJ Rasheeda. And I can't believe that I haven't mentioned how much I despise Layla Kayleigh. Next blog don't you worry.

And next up was Fanny Pak, dancing to "Toy Soldier" by my homegirl Britney Spears.

...


I LOVE FANNY PAK.


And so far so do the judges. The thing about Fanny Pak is that with all I had been saying earlier about the crews not having distinct personalities and unoriginal crew names that don't even relate to their attitudes-- Fanny Pak is the one crew that got all of that right. They came in with a unique sense of who they are and what they represent, and this never gets lost in their performances. Their performances are not the most tricked out or the most complex, however, they are, in my opinion, one of the most original in choreography and aesthetically innovative. J.C. called them "artists," and there's no way that I can't respect that. Fanny Pak to me is never boring, and the fact that I can remember them goes a long way in my book. They stand out. I'm sold. --Plus they got hyphy is this episode's performance and I. LOVE. THE. BAY.

In each episode, before the crews perform they show a back-bio of the crew as they come up with their routine-- and this season seems to be obsessed with creative mini-trauma-dramas for each crew in every episode. So a guy in Fanny Pak hurt his knee during rehearsal and we have to hear about it for like a good 20 seconds... really!?

And again, as J.C. is about to mention Linda's jump, Mario goes on with his interruptions, yelling "INCOMING!!! It was amazing! She was like Rambo right there!"

Randy can we please get a muzzle on this guy.

Shane said, "I love the fact that the army girls got sexy on me" ...oh you would Shane. I was surprised that wasn't the FIRST thing he said. Every time a crew pulls a minutely sexual move in the routine, I call out that Shane will call THAT out during his commentary-- and he never fails me.

Let me take a moment here to say that no matter what fun I make of Shane, I like this guy. I love how he shut down Status Quo and overpraised the JabbaWockeeZ last season, I love how he wishes he could be a JabbaWockee, I love how he catches all the norcal allusions, because I love norcal, and I love how he always points out the sexy stuff because guess what, I love the sexy stuff, and don't tell me you don't enjoy all the replays either. I love crazy Shane.

So speaking of the bayyy... next up was Supreme Soul, whom I didn't like particularly from the get-go, for the simple reason being that I felt they were riding on their loose association with the JabbaWockeeZ (gods). Um. I don't care if you battled the Jabba. III could have battled the JabbaWockeeZ. Doesn't mean a thing. And if I'm gonna be talking about that, I better be able to back it up. Supreme Soul's first performance was a supreme suck. However they have been making it up in previous performances. And I will say... I will say, that their performance was probably one of the best ones this episode. Yes.

I do think the guy that played Omarion in last week's episode is a cutie, and they are from the Bay, which through my newfound bay-area associations that i've made at UCLA, I have noticed has a distinct (and irresistible... to me haha I love the Bay so help me!) swagger to it, which is prevalent in Supreme Soul's routines-- and that's hot.

Their challenge song was "Elevator", by Flo-Rida ft. Timbaland. Like I said, I liked, good detail good choreography, good outfits--- I guess.


The outfits each episode last season were much more appealing and visually appeasing than any of the outfits this season. What's up with all the grays and the grays and the... grays... please people. Looks like all unused glitter just keeps going to Lil Mama's outfits. Use it... please... she already sounds like she has A.D.D...

I love Lil Mama. I swear! How else would Supreme Soul know they they had to "swerve it in"!? ..

I loved when during her commentary Lil Mama called Antoine, "Kevin"... for those of you that didn't catch that, Kevin was the guy in JabbaWockeeZ... hahah, they wanted to relate to Jabba? They got it! My brother and I were having a riot with that one.

J.C. thought it was very "unselfish" of this cocky group to let someone new "shine" each week in their routines. J.C., how fitting of you to say that, what with spending a near decade in *N Sync being outshined by JT. It's okay J.C., I always liked you better. Well, that was until you came out with the song "All Day Long I Dream About Sex"...

Finally it came down to the bottom two, which would be Phresh Select and Extreme Dance Force.

Hahaha-- OKAY! I don't know what it is, but every male I have talked to has been haaating on Extreme Dance Force-- and no one can really tell me why. I mean, they aren't horrible dancers, and it's not like they are especially any uglier than some of the other crews on here. I don't geeet it. But it's hilarious. If my brother was a drinker he'd have popped a champagne bottle just for the fact that Extreme Dance Force was in the bottom two. He even went as far as to say that given a choice he likes Sass X7 better than them... AND THAT IS SAYING A FLIPPIN LOT. (Sass X7??? Really!!?) If I had to put my finger on it I think everyone hates them because of the done eyebrows.

When the remaining three crews were waiting to see who would face off in the bottom two against Extreme Dance Force, everyone looked unnaturally calm. I'm guessing they were all thinking, "Oh! Us against Extreme Dance Force!? "

As I stated the choice was Phresh Select, dancing to "Big Things Poppin" by T.I. There was another drama/trauma episode before the performance, something to do with personalities clashing... Randy Jackson let me remind you that you are producing America's Best Dance Crew, not The Hills alright. Tell these guys to shut up and dance!

I thought Phresh Select's choreography was simple stuff, unoriginal... similar to what Super Cr3w had done. Nothing really different about either of their routines except that Super Cr3w does all the stunts. Eh.

Extreme Dance Force danced to "Earthquake" by Tech N9ne. And again of course you get another trauma drama episode that no one cares about... Nick is "Extreme"-ly sick... haha.. pun intended... he "might not be able to peform"... but of course he does -___---

So anyway as they get into some tall, complicated looking, 3-D formation of a building to start their performance, my brother after all his trash talking flips and starts panicking, "OMG it's actually gonna be good, it's actually gonna be good"

which it was... for them, hahah. There were moments I liked, and it was sad because the judges barely did any, if at all, replays of their routine. After a while though I think Extreme Dance Force started interpreting "Earthquake" as an earthquake induced by King Kong or something, because they started to get barbaric and overly intense... and then the "sick" guy, Nick, ripped off his shirt and the routine ended a few seconds later with all the guys pantsing themselves and Nick barechested in the center trying to look hard. With his eyebrows done.

I'm guessing they were trying to get on Shane's good side by attempting to induce his regular praise on choreography of the sexual nature, which didn't work out this time. I'm pretty sure its because whatever they were trying to do ended up being more disturbing than anything else. And of course Mario pipes in again for the ninth time this episode, telling us that "In general I think the crews did a --" WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK MARIO gaaaaaashhhh. Go hang out with Layla Kayleigh in the back or something. Can we have DJ Rasheeda host? Where's Zack Morris??

Unfortunately for Extreme Dance Force, I think they had the worst run of all the crews ever, combining this season and last season. They weren't even that bad but they just got NO respect. BOYS-- DO NOT DO YOUR EYEBROWS! I really think that's what it was.

On the bright side for Extreme Dance Force, J.C. said he respected the risk they took in pulling down their shorts at the end...
I think only then did I realize what a big risk that really was. Haha..


All in all I think my favorite part this episode was then Mario was stalling on announcing the last remaining crew and some girl from the audience shouted above everyone else "Just HURRY UP"

I think she should be the host.


Anyway, to wrap it up, Extreme Dance Force was judged off, Layla Kayleigh's still popping out of her clothes, and Lil Mama called "Philly" a state.

..


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