Lo Ling, this is Les Paul. Les Paul, meet Lo Ling--

Lo Ling; "Better Way" - Ben Harper; 7:3-something PM; my desk my room in diamond bar: lustful, inspired, accomplished, inspired --again.



My brother got a new guitar

a few months ago.










She's gorgeous.

I just want to pet it* all day. And stare at the marked frets of her neck--they shine like the polished insides of abalone. You've probably already seen how well the unpolished insides shine, and these look like POLISHED insides. Wow.



I think I've finally discovered the one thing that I'm really good at. No, it isn't gift-wrapping. Although I'm pretty kick-ass when it comes to gift-wrapping. I can gift-wrap anything. And it will look nice too.











*I'd feel awkward referring to myself as stroking "her"

always have to steal my kisses from you

I want to go exploring laaaaaate at night. Whatever that means anymore. "Late at night". Two 'o clock in the morning used to be late at night for us. Now its early.

But I really would like to. And you know tunnels? YEAH TUNNELS! Yayuhh. I want to ride through tunnels on things with wheels while someone, maybe myself, swivels a flashlight around creating spooky images on the sides of the spooky tunnel.

And then you know the places at the very top of tall hills with great views of things that are so far away and they're so far away that they are pretty. Because things far away are always better that way. It'd be nice to cool down there after a frivolous night of explorations and tunnel-running.

What else. Oh yeah. I would also like to not be alone when I'm doing this. Because people are constantly getting killed in Westwood. I dont even know if there are hills in westwood. I dont even know why I'm talking about Westwood. And why I just capitalized it in the last sentence and not in the sentence before.












"All this indecision,
all this independent strength,
still, we've got our hearts on save,
we've got our hearts on safe."

"A Storm-tossed Lover on the Seas"

statements like that one--

are part of what make me look forward to my English class every week.

I feel like I can breathe in that class, think from my heart, and feel from my brain.





"Valentine"

Not a red rose or a satin heart.

I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.

Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.

I am trying to be truthful.

Not a cute card or kissogram.

I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.

Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding ring,
if you like.
Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.

--Carol Anne Duffy

You can make it your New Year's Resolution

to not send me mass text messages anymore.

I'm going to be very vulnerable and honest right now and just tell you that your mass texts, well yeah,

THEY MAKE ME FEEL STUPID
and overzealous as your friend.

I'd prefer, as I'm sure you would if you were in my position, to NOT feel like that. Thus, I ask you to refrain, if there is any possible way, from sending me your ever so thoughtful yet unthoughtful and impersonal mass texts.

Why.

I knew you'd ask.

I'm not sure how to put this except, after receiving texts saying "Happy New Year!" or "Merry Christmas!" (even though I don't celebrate Christmas, and yes, Jesus is still my homeboy,) I just get this mentality that you actually thought about me and took time to wish me those things. I'm not saying you didn't at all, but ... you kind of really didn't. It took one second to think of... everyone in your phonebook. Actually let me rephrase that, it took a second to think of, your phonebook. That doesn't count.

But me, being the overly appreciative person that I am (I have recently come to notice that I say "thank you" a lot. I'm not saying I do it "too much" because I like being appreciative of the little things, but, it is "a lot"...and now I'm thinking actually, maybe it is too much...) will always decide to PERSONALLY send YOU a PERSONAL text message back, wishing YOU a happy new year, or a happy holidays, or a happy groundhog's day, or whatever you people all mass text for these days. And you know what?

I always feel really idiotic, right after hitting send, realizing that, you probably really didn't even think of me when you sent that text.

I don't mean to sound narcissistic, or possessive, or anything that this may come off as. Really don't. It's just a very simple feeling I get. I just feel, simply, stupid. Here I am getting all excited and texting you back when you probably weren't even expecting a response because... it was a mass text.


But then again, I do like the fact that I was able to send you something, just for you. And I do understand why a mass text, in this day and age of the 21st century, may be considered very thoughtful and considerate. I see that. We are, the txt msg gnration, where a mass text might be considered much better than no text...








but for me,
its not.





I sound like a big B and I'm really sorry.

If you HAVE to mass text (but not to me because i realize its not part of my plan anyway haha so texting in general raises my bill by a million dollars =p), I suggest you add a "you guys!" or an "everyone!", so they know that you're not really thinking of them personally because you're so popular. =p


I'm being so mean. Oh well. New Year's Resolution for myself. Se amable.


Te quiero,











...EVERYONE!

(See doesn't that just suck. Wouldn't it have been so nice if I had just meant it for YOU) ??

Sigh, Happy New Year everyone. =)