Lo Ling; #41 (Live) -Dave Matthews Band; 12:46pm; the Reeb-523; feeling: bloated, and content.
It's my birthday.
This entire week, I'd been feeling excited, though not sure for what. I was never put in charge before of my own birthday "celebration", though I've had plenty of good times putting on celebrations for others. So with no practice of my own... FOR my own, and no known other celebratory notice for this day, I really had nothing specific to be excited about. Except the number 19.
So as I was expressing this to my roommate Mary, she quickly shushed me, saying "Lo! It's your DAY. The day your mom LABORED for you on your behalf and STRUGGLED and SCREAMED and finally, and then, you entered this world!"
And I realized
I should be celebrating my MOM on my birthday.
And I'm pretty sure there was no screaming involved. My mom always explained that it was pretty simple with both me and my brother. Check the diameter, call for a C-section, put her out, cut me out.
But I definitely owe my mom for the whole 9 months before that day, on October 19th, 1988... at the hour of midnight and some minutes that only my dad can ever remember (that's so sweet.) that I finally entered this ... flippin ... WORLD. And I definitely owe her for the 19 years after that.
So heeeeeeere's to you mom. Happy Birth-giving Day to you.
Lo Ling; "Fight Outta You" -Ben Harper & my fan blowing; 5:32PM; the reeb 523; feeling: curious
In Chem lecture yesterday, I don't remember exactly what it was, but Professor P.B. made a joke about the classic statement heard by women all over the world,
"We need to talk."
My thoughts on the statement? As passed on to Mary who was sitting next to me, I pass them on to you...
In the future, whenever I feel anxiously in love with my husband and desire so to tell him, I'm gonna say,
"We need to talk."
okay.
moving on.
a little while ago i was feeling not so happy because my friends don't like using their phones, so i'm going to talk about things that make me happy. Like things that start with the letter M...
for
Mondays!
Because I really love my Mondays. And I am cordially inviting you, if you know who Lo Ling is, to join her (that would be M for ME) on my Monday afternoons.
Mondays go like this, Chem lecture at 9, Comm discussion at 12, and then Chem discussion at 2.
You're probably thinking, "WTF Lo."
The happiest part of my Mondays consist of the hour between Comm discussion and Chem discussion, when I jaunt happily over to an on-campus eatery which is still a (M for...) mystery, to me because I have yet to find out it's name. However, this is where I am asking you to join me for lunch at 1:00PM if you happen to be in the area. This mysterious place that features really good teriyaki chicken is located directly to the right of Public Policy, somewhat to the far left of Bunche, and to the ... well, behind this building whose name I just forgot. Sorry. But just give me a ring on the (M for...) mobile phone.
(M for...) moving on (OK I'll stop that..)
I think I really just like the convenience of having this place to go in between my two discussion sections-- which are conveniently located in the same building. This convenience is heightened by the fact that it has become a new routine for me, and we all know, familiarity breeds content. I like having this destination, the somewhere I'd like to be, that is now somewhere I need to be. It's simple, just a patio, tables and chairs, some large umbrellas to sit under. It's just very quaint, mellow, connected yet independent, open and airy, and very nice. I always feel like its good weather there. (Which for me is defined by a very wide spectrum... anything that doesn't include a temperature over 87 degrees). I look forward to my Mondays now, something I never thought I'd say, sitting in the patio, being productive and feeling quite collegiate.
I said I was going to move on.
peacelate and this was probably the worst blog I have written in my life.
Lo Ling; listening to "Apologize" by Timbaland ft. One Republic... other way around? hmm; 9:26 AM; my laptop my desk my room my rieber; feeling anxious slightly
I know... it's only been ten hours and I'm already writing another one of these. I can't help it. There's just so much to SHARE. Pretty word.
Alright so today's thought includes one thing. But I'm gonna throw in something from past days as well.
This
morning, I got up, as I do every day, to the sound of my roommate Mary's alarm clock radio. I don't remember what song was playing, which probably goes to show that I really didn't like it. And I went back to bed. Only to be woken a few minutes later by the voice of either a phone-sex operator, or someone imPERSONating a phone-sex operator, operating on the radio DJs...
I don't know what station it was except that I don't usually listen to it and now I know why.
Regardless, a couple mornings ago, I was so beautifully awoken by the song "Apologize" (that which I am currently listening to) on Mary's alarm clock radio. I'm really not here to talk about the song. It could have been any song I hold a current infatuation for. It's the concept, the feeling of simply,
waking up to something you really like.
I remember waking up to "Daughters" by John Mayer once back at home. That was very nice too.
My point is
today I woke up to some song that I really didn't care about, and in order to make it up to myself I decided I would just play "Apologize" for myself via youtube--hahaha, and THAT would help me enjoy my waking hours.
My point is
that's not how it works formeatleast
I didn't even play myself the song after I got up because I realize the effect was gone. Enjoy my "waking" hours? I was already awake. Something unexpected, a surprise, an unsuspected melody, these are all gifts from Mr. or Ms. Let LIFE Make Your Day Because You Probably Get Tired Of Making It Yourself. The song is no less great now that I sit here listening to it, but the feeling I get now is different from the one I got those couple of mornings ago. It's really just like this simple GIFT, before you're even awake. And then you are. And it's so happy. I guess if I had to find an analogy it could be like getting up on Christmas morning. Except I don't know what that specifically feels like. But I think the parallel is there. You know what I mean?
I guess that's all I wanted to say. I like music I like in the morning. Shrug.
Next up.
Has anyone seen the music video for "AYO Technology" ? Well I have.
And I wish I hadn't. I think instead of "AYO Technology" they should have called it
"Watch media moghuls Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, and 50 Cent undertake another industry--PORN!!! Featuring Justin Timberlake and 50 Cent as co-directors, costume directors, and co-stars, and Timbaland as--duh, the producer."
I'm not kidding. Basically it's a bunch of models in their skivvies occassionally, actually a lot of the time, up on the "co-stars", and then we see Timbaland in his chair, moving these clips through thin air, editing, arranging, producing the whole damn thing.
I thought Justin was classy. I should have known!
Good song though.
So anyway, here's a video. No. Not AYO. I'm not puttin that on here. It's "Apologize", and I think it's probably one of the best music videos I've seen recently. It's simplistically and aesthetically constructed, and that's all I really ask out of life.
If I could teach every good person in the world one thing, it would be what I learned from my roommate Sasha last year:
"Big Risks; Big Rewards"
to be free with ones expressions, feelings, and desires. Would you like to make some noise? Make some noise. Would you like to call me for no reason? Call me for no reason. Would you like to climb Mount Everest? Climb Mount Everest. (I trust that you want to climb Mount Everest on the basis that you are sure you are capable of doing so.) Are you dying to pay a visit? Pay a visit. Wanna hang from the ceilings? Go for that job? Hang. Go! Quit your facebook? QUIT IT! take your risks
...to laugh in the face of whatever is awkward and "what if it's" awkward--for you? for him? her? them? who? what? awkward? forget the term. awkward is insecure. what may be awkward is what is insecure. let's grow up. let's take chances. ...to make the decisions that he or she (meaning you) may be unsure of--
to always think in terms of "big risks; big rewards."
this is what has bred my happiness
Last quarter, last summer, into today though I have not always carpe diem-ed in the ways of big risks when I wanted to, which is when I should have, every time that I have done so has honestly, truly, NEVER yielded me less than big rewards.
True that I am an optimistic person and those of an optimistic nature may fall easily to self-fulfilling prophecies
but it is also
true
that the act of taking big risks
is not self-fulfilling--
You must do it to it.
And in the instance that there is failure. Or a less than expected outcome...
so FLIPPING what. !?
we are all allowed "off" days. off days are welcome here and "on" days aren't numbered. so try again tomorrow. tonight? maybe you're on tonight. maybe it's THE night. How will you know?
goodnight.
"Do one thing every day that scares you." --Eleanor Roosevelt
"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail..." --Unknown
yesterday i saw a boy walking up the hill with a mustard-yellow jansport backpack. same as mine, but mustard yellow. it was hot, and although i'm probably not going to ask for a birthday present, if i were to ask for one, i would ask for that simple one pocketed mustard yellow jansport backpack.
second thing
i'm annoying myself with how much i can miss someone. sometimes i can hear myself telling myself to shut up because she's heard "i miss so and so" so many times. it's a good feeling though, knowing that i'm capable of feeling these strong of emotions, and in an ironic way, that i'm also capable of holding it in.
third thing
i can totally be "gossip girl"
and i will.
last night while taking my seat in Rieber Dining Hall, i spotted D on what immediately seemed to me was a date. she was dressed up, and though i can't give too many details for the sake of anonymity, she was wearing "Rihanna earrings", a halter top, short skirt, and the cheesy romantic grin that was the first thing that gave it away. She and her boy, who we'll call Ben, were tucked away behind a pillar by the window. that may have been the second thing giving it away. that strategically located (hidden) table is perfect for those wishing to cast illusion upon themselves as being in a private place... aka: dateworthy.
interestingly enough, D lives in a building down the hill known as dykstra. and Ben doesn't live on campus.
so why rieber?
sanctuary from the prying eyes of too-close-for-comfort floormates?
i mean, i definitely know it wasn't for the food.
regardless, my tablemates had a good time joking about what the scene must have been at the swipe-station...
D: oh, my bruincard.. Ben: oh no, this one's on me! (turns to swiper) two swipes please D: oh ben (googley eyes)
haha that's funny
but secretly (ok so not so secret anyMORE)... i thought it was pretty cute. although i probably wouldn't have gotten dressed up just out of situational chameleon-ism. (blending into your surroundings.)
crazy 
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