Saturday, October 28, 2006
"and then one led to like ten more, because it was like 'oh, that was easy'..."
anyway. that was what kyle had to say about his first kiss. and i thought it was cute.
Monday, October 9, 2006
"Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world" (natalie portman pic included with this post)
"Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it"
alllllright. so i think i have some more to share about COLLEGE. so i will. if you missed out on my other experiences so far, they are in the blog with the other relaly long title. something about reading is sexy. i think it was interesting because it involved alcohol and that seems to perk everyone up. hahaha.
there are a lot of very little things that have been making me very happy recently. i really like it because every day i have like one more little thing to add to my list of "beautiful little things that make me overly happy for whatever reason". i'm not sure if that has to do with college, or ucla, because im sure the things that i have on my list can very well be found in other parts of the world, right when you step out into it. i think the thing i like about college is that its kind of a refined version of the world at large. a microcosm. anyway, so here is a list i have compiled so far in the margin of my math and chemistry notes of things that i just find so beautiful. like i saw them and i just felt all HAPPY. i think now i understand why i liked the movie "american beauty" so much. i told my friend that i was like... what is this! a movie made for samiah!?! because there really is just "so much beauty" !!!! aghhh i cant contain it.
things that make/have made me really happy in the last couple of weeks:
- the way my math professor has his lecture notes in one of those very collegiate writing tablets that you flip vertically (with the binding on top). they're usually yellow but his is white. i just love seeing it sit on his desk and then i love it when he flips it vertically. the pages are always so delicate looking but full of insight... which makes them beautiful but also very daunting. i think its just very cute in general how that is what/how my professor writes his lecture notes.
-there is this guy at ucla who is always doing stunts and flips and walking with his hands up stair rails on his hands and just doing crazy things without a shirt on. he is a student i think. but anyway. so one day i was walking back up to class and i saw him having a conversation with another person, and then another guy just kinda went by on a skateboard. the guy on the skateboard waved to the stunt-boy, the stunt-boy smiled and waved back, "hey!" End of story. but that scene just really made me so happy.
-there is this tall skinny white boy in my math class. he is also in my discussion for math. so the story here is, i have noticed, as im sure all of you have, everyone seems to have such a fascination or obsession with accents. iiii... dont really go head over heels for accents. they amuse me, they're cool, just, for me it is much more about your voice than your accent. okay. so the bigger story here is, people always think accents have to be something "exotic" or european. welllll, today i head the tall skinny guy speak in class. He has the most sheer surfer dude californian accent. and he uses it to ask questions about multivariable calculus, and it TURNS ME ON. duuuude. =P
-the really pretty girl who was standing outside the math lecture hall waiting to go in. she was reading the math book like no other. like. seriously. who the heck thinks that north campus girls are what its all about?! cause theyre noooooot. seriously. seeing her made me very happy. hahaha.
-the guy across the aisle from me today in chemistry. he looks so... east coast college kid. he kinda looks like the guy elle woods ends up marrying in legally blonde (which was shot at ucla! hahaha) except i think this guy has better hair than the movie guy. anyway. its not really about the guy. its about how under his seat, he placed his big messenger back type "backpack", and from it i could see his beanie peeking out of it.
yeah i dont know why. but a beanie peeking out of a messenger back just really made my day.
alright so moving on with my college stories. today i was having lunch with rod, and i just had the urge to say to him, "there are so many interesting people here! everywhere. i'm just surrounded by interesting people."
and of course rod replies the usual rod way, which is, "yes i know samiah. you're surrounded by interesting people in your math class, your chem class, eating lunch with you..." he was talking about himself. hahahah. rod rod rod.
alright. so what happens next is, there is a girl eating just one seat down from me. shes eating a chicken pot pie, and rod wants one. so he asks. excuse me. where did you get that? and then she tells us. and then she asks us if we're first years. and we say yes. and then we start talking to her. and she asks us where we're from. and we say diamond bar. and she doesnt know where that is. i ask her if shes from northern california. she says.. kind of maybe.. (im like what...?) and i say db is southern california (all of a sudden i smell chicken pot pie in my room btw...hahaha) and rod says its 40 miles away. and then we ask her where she's from.
paris.
and shes lived in singapore, and beijing, and shanghai, and australia, and new zealand, and and and and and......
!
her parents have to move a lot for their work. she doesnt always know where her parents are. because they're always in some new continent. and she's been in boarding school all her life. she is a math-econ major becaues she is asian hahah, but shes trying to get into the film school here (its like third in the nation). shes a second year, she took a leave of absence her first year to go film a documentary for mTV about high altitude animals. they shot that in... south africa, and then the high altitude part was shot in tibet.
yeah.
remember how i said, im surrounded by interesting people!!!!
i wasnt kidding.
when she left, i looked at rod and i said that same thing. and he just exploded and said I WAS JUST THINKING THAT! I was like SAMIAH we were just talking about this!
and seriously, she was only a SEAT DOWN from me.
you never know people. you never never never know people.
and im not saying that she would have been any less interesting if she didnt have that story, everyone is interesting and thats the truth of the matter. but i just found it so ironic that i had just been telling rod how we're surrounded by interesting people (which is inevitable in life based on how i said everyone is interesting) and then the girl right next to us just happened to be full of these very unique experiences! hahaha. LIFE!
and then rod told me about how one of his floormate's dad is alike a major film producer and how the guy basically gets to hang out with denzel washington and natalie portman on the weekends.
and then i made a face.
and then he was like do you not like natalie portman?
i say, "no."
and then he says why?
and then i tell him. and i must have gotten very very passionate about it because then rod started waving his hands and saying, "i take it back! i made a mistake of telling you he hangs with with natalie portman! calm down!" and he kept laughing at me. why are passionate people always so FUNNY!? gosh.
anyway.
do you guys remember this?
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
your turn
so i think i've told you about how random thoughts occur to me and then i write them down and lose them haha.
well, two thoughts have occured to me recently. i was talking to people and then it just kind of popped into my head. they came in sentences.
buuuut im not gonna tell you
but i will give you the beginnings of the sentences and then i think you can fill them in as you see fit in your own scheme of things as they pertain to you. i'd really like to know how you would fill these sentences in
ok?
ok
I've never met someone who wasn't _____________ .
I will never question ____________.
thanks boobs.
(boobs is my nickname for a bunch of people in general that i care about and am close enough with to call boobs. its not referring to "boobs". its just a noise. boobs. and yes its probably referring to you and i care what you have to say. sosayit!)
=)
remember that??
so if you havent figured it out already. these are what my blanks were and have alwyas been:
I've never met someone who wasn't interesting, or with a story to tell.
I will never question your ability to make me happy. (yeah i was thinking of someone with that.)
alright.
oh. theres this other thing.
from wayyyy back when. but since i mentioned natalie now i might as well put it up hahah.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
umm. so i'm sure you all know how i DON'T LIKE NATALIE PORTMAN.
so i almost died when today i was wasting time doing stupid blogthings and got THIS:
Who is Your Celeb Soul Mate? by killargrl9543
Name
Favorite Color
Your Celeb Soul Mate
Quiz created with MemeGen!
seriously. why would anyone do that to me.
Public - 11:57 PM - 6 eprops - 3 comments - edit it - email it
why.
i miss you guys even more. and i hate my classes. but my math professor has a dracula accent which is cool and my chem professr has a south african accent which can only be described as "polite" which is really cute, and my history of modern thought professor sucks.
school sucks.
but college doesnt.
=)
and ask me for my mailing address!!
and pictures of my dorm room coming soon =)
alllllright. so i think i have some more to share about COLLEGE. so i will. if you missed out on my other experiences so far, they are in the blog with the other relaly long title. something about reading is sexy. i think it was interesting because it involved alcohol and that seems to perk everyone up. hahaha.
there are a lot of very little things that have been making me very happy recently. i really like it because every day i have like one more little thing to add to my list of "beautiful little things that make me overly happy for whatever reason". i'm not sure if that has to do with college, or ucla, because im sure the things that i have on my list can very well be found in other parts of the world, right when you step out into it. i think the thing i like about college is that its kind of a refined version of the world at large. a microcosm. anyway, so here is a list i have compiled so far in the margin of my math and chemistry notes of things that i just find so beautiful. like i saw them and i just felt all HAPPY. i think now i understand why i liked the movie "american beauty" so much. i told my friend that i was like... what is this! a movie made for samiah!?! because there really is just "so much beauty" !!!! aghhh i cant contain it.
things that make/have made me really happy in the last couple of weeks:
- the way my math professor has his lecture notes in one of those very collegiate writing tablets that you flip vertically (with the binding on top). they're usually yellow but his is white. i just love seeing it sit on his desk and then i love it when he flips it vertically. the pages are always so delicate looking but full of insight... which makes them beautiful but also very daunting. i think its just very cute in general how that is what/how my professor writes his lecture notes.
-there is this guy at ucla who is always doing stunts and flips and walking with his hands up stair rails on his hands and just doing crazy things without a shirt on. he is a student i think. but anyway. so one day i was walking back up to class and i saw him having a conversation with another person, and then another guy just kinda went by on a skateboard. the guy on the skateboard waved to the stunt-boy, the stunt-boy smiled and waved back, "hey!" End of story. but that scene just really made me so happy.
-there is this tall skinny white boy in my math class. he is also in my discussion for math. so the story here is, i have noticed, as im sure all of you have, everyone seems to have such a fascination or obsession with accents. iiii... dont really go head over heels for accents. they amuse me, they're cool, just, for me it is much more about your voice than your accent. okay. so the bigger story here is, people always think accents have to be something "exotic" or european. welllll, today i head the tall skinny guy speak in class. He has the most sheer surfer dude californian accent. and he uses it to ask questions about multivariable calculus, and it TURNS ME ON. duuuude. =P
-the really pretty girl who was standing outside the math lecture hall waiting to go in. she was reading the math book like no other. like. seriously. who the heck thinks that north campus girls are what its all about?! cause theyre noooooot. seriously. seeing her made me very happy. hahaha.
-the guy across the aisle from me today in chemistry. he looks so... east coast college kid. he kinda looks like the guy elle woods ends up marrying in legally blonde (which was shot at ucla! hahaha) except i think this guy has better hair than the movie guy. anyway. its not really about the guy. its about how under his seat, he placed his big messenger back type "backpack", and from it i could see his beanie peeking out of it.
yeah i dont know why. but a beanie peeking out of a messenger back just really made my day.
alright so moving on with my college stories. today i was having lunch with rod, and i just had the urge to say to him, "there are so many interesting people here! everywhere. i'm just surrounded by interesting people."
and of course rod replies the usual rod way, which is, "yes i know samiah. you're surrounded by interesting people in your math class, your chem class, eating lunch with you..." he was talking about himself. hahahah. rod rod rod.
alright. so what happens next is, there is a girl eating just one seat down from me. shes eating a chicken pot pie, and rod wants one. so he asks. excuse me. where did you get that? and then she tells us. and then she asks us if we're first years. and we say yes. and then we start talking to her. and she asks us where we're from. and we say diamond bar. and she doesnt know where that is. i ask her if shes from northern california. she says.. kind of maybe.. (im like what...?) and i say db is southern california (all of a sudden i smell chicken pot pie in my room btw...hahaha) and rod says its 40 miles away. and then we ask her where she's from.
paris.
and shes lived in singapore, and beijing, and shanghai, and australia, and new zealand, and and and and and......
!
her parents have to move a lot for their work. she doesnt always know where her parents are. because they're always in some new continent. and she's been in boarding school all her life. she is a math-econ major becaues she is asian hahah, but shes trying to get into the film school here (its like third in the nation). shes a second year, she took a leave of absence her first year to go film a documentary for mTV about high altitude animals. they shot that in... south africa, and then the high altitude part was shot in tibet.
yeah.
remember how i said, im surrounded by interesting people!!!!
i wasnt kidding.
when she left, i looked at rod and i said that same thing. and he just exploded and said I WAS JUST THINKING THAT! I was like SAMIAH we were just talking about this!
and seriously, she was only a SEAT DOWN from me.
you never know people. you never never never know people.
and im not saying that she would have been any less interesting if she didnt have that story, everyone is interesting and thats the truth of the matter. but i just found it so ironic that i had just been telling rod how we're surrounded by interesting people (which is inevitable in life based on how i said everyone is interesting) and then the girl right next to us just happened to be full of these very unique experiences! hahaha. LIFE!
and then rod told me about how one of his floormate's dad is alike a major film producer and how the guy basically gets to hang out with denzel washington and natalie portman on the weekends.
and then i made a face.
and then he was like do you not like natalie portman?
i say, "no."
and then he says why?
and then i tell him. and i must have gotten very very passionate about it because then rod started waving his hands and saying, "i take it back! i made a mistake of telling you he hangs with with natalie portman! calm down!" and he kept laughing at me. why are passionate people always so FUNNY!? gosh.
anyway.
do you guys remember this?
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
your turn
so i think i've told you about how random thoughts occur to me and then i write them down and lose them haha.
well, two thoughts have occured to me recently. i was talking to people and then it just kind of popped into my head. they came in sentences.
buuuut im not gonna tell you
but i will give you the beginnings of the sentences and then i think you can fill them in as you see fit in your own scheme of things as they pertain to you. i'd really like to know how you would fill these sentences in
ok?
ok
I've never met someone who wasn't _____________ .
I will never question ____________.
thanks boobs.
(boobs is my nickname for a bunch of people in general that i care about and am close enough with to call boobs. its not referring to "boobs". its just a noise. boobs. and yes its probably referring to you and i care what you have to say. sosayit!)
=)
remember that??
so if you havent figured it out already. these are what my blanks were and have alwyas been:
I've never met someone who wasn't interesting, or with a story to tell.
I will never question your ability to make me happy. (yeah i was thinking of someone with that.)
alright.
oh. theres this other thing.
from wayyyy back when. but since i mentioned natalie now i might as well put it up hahah.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
umm. so i'm sure you all know how i DON'T LIKE NATALIE PORTMAN.
so i almost died when today i was wasting time doing stupid blogthings and got THIS:
Who is Your Celeb Soul Mate? by killargrl9543
Name
Favorite Color
Your Celeb Soul Mate
Quiz created with MemeGen!
seriously. why would anyone do that to me.
Public - 11:57 PM - 6 eprops - 3 comments - edit it - email it
why.
i miss you guys even more. and i hate my classes. but my math professor has a dracula accent which is cool and my chem professr has a south african accent which can only be described as "polite" which is really cute, and my history of modern thought professor sucks.
school sucks.
but college doesnt.
=)
and ask me for my mailing address!!
and pictures of my dorm room coming soon =)
Tuesday, October 3, 2006
reading is sexy. dont drink and study. and sleep with teddy bears not floormates.
reading is sexy.
i think those three words some up ucla very very well. everybody reads and everybody is sexy and everybody reading is sexy and everybody sexy is reading.
which is okay.
last night, i think it was 12 am and my very good friend and floormate rachel decided we needed a movie night. or .. very early movie morning. haha what have you, after a nice long day of studying and messing and studying and running to starbucks with kyle who got us free drinks! i like walking through westwood at night. especially when its NOT to go down to the damn course reader store only to find that you are three hours late from closing time. -_-
so we watched american beauty.
which was
amazing.
i cant believe how much i liked that movie. and i'm not going to lie, from a very nonengaged point of view, i can see how some parts that were meant to be very poignant and profound could easily be seen as cheesy and cliche. "there is so much beauty!!" "my heart cant take it!!" ... well those weren't the direct quotes but i think you kinda get it.
but even so, the lines within the context of the movie were bee ah youu tee full.
ok especially the plastic blag floating around. i loved that. i dont know why but it made me so happy. and i dont even know how they shot the bag like that, it wasnt just floating around, it was seriously having a dance with the wind and all the leaves couldn't help but join in. does it always look like that when litter meets a draft?
i know im being ironic, saying it was a dance and then calling it litter meeting a gust of wind. but that is how it was in that scene. something that i always just saw as TRASH... suddenly turned so ... miraculous even.
weird.
good movie.
everything about it was good.
even mena suvari's character which i kept fluctuating my opinion on turned out good. i really think this movie is amazing. every scene that caused me any slight discomfort at the onset, developed right after into a lesson or a plot-related epiphany which was just ... really moving. and beautiful.
there's one scene where mena suvari's character and kevin spacey's character are about to do it, and she really portrays the baby she is, the way she looks in the screen and whatnot. and i was getting antsy at that part because althroughout the movie, she came off as this experienced teen whore. and all the while that she was flirting with spacey's character, it was so... not a big deal. and then all of a sudden in that scene she really was the baby that she really is. and just when they're about to do it, and im sitting there dying in my seat because it all just looks so wrong, the scene just develops into this beautiful thing. and no i dont mean sex. there is no sex. but really. if you have seen the movie i think you know what im talking about.
so that is one example. of how a potentially disturbing scene just... isnt. and in fact is something so much... more. i dunno i thought it was pretty amazing.
especially because it happens more than once in the movie.
there is this other scene, where ricky's dad comes to kevin spacey's character through the rain. theyre in the garage. and ricky's dad just looks so troubled, and spacey's character tells him things will be okay (this description of mine is making it sound liek the two were friends or something... believe me that is not how it was). and then ricky's dad comes and starts hugging spacey's character, and there is a shot of ricky's dad's hand on spacey's bare back, and that hand is diggggggging into spacey's back.
thats what it looked like, and i started freaking out because i thought he was trying to kill him or something.
oh man.
it had nothing to do with killing.
but when that hug was over,
MAN
what happened next!! shiiiettttt i LOVED IT. I LOVED IT SO MUCH. waaaaa. i cant contain it. seriously. amazing.
good writing man.
GOSH THAT WAS a freaking good movie. thaaanks rachel babe =)
so moving on with my few ucla stories...
oh yeah. so while we were watching the movie, towards the end our friend and floormate zach walks in around 1:30ish after returning from his first non-dry frat party. he was doing pretty well actually. but he told us to wait till morning to really see haha.
so i guess that somehow gave another guy who was watching the movie with us (not kyle) and who i will sustain anonymous for the time being, the idea to go get some alcohol...
and bring it in the study lounge.
which. if you dont live in a dorm, i will inform you now, is a very stupid thing to do. because a. youre not supposed to have alcohol here at all. b. if you do, you're safe if you keep it in your dorm room and c. with your door closed d. so the RA's can pretend they dont know about it. this goes for marijuana and whatever else people usually do behind closed doors anyway. i guess.
so this guy, decided to bring it into the study lounge.
-_-
and our RA decided to walk in.
what happened was, we actually decided to pause the movie because i needed to pee and put my stuff back because i'm paranoid that someone was going to jack my marvelous calc book... hahaha. no i was really just worried about the ipod. haha, so we took a break, and i go to the bathroom, and rachel is around doing her stuff and so is kyle and the other guy... is bringing in his "on the rocks" whatever you call it. i know it was like.. something punch on the rocks blah i really dont remember. i just remember "on the rocks" because that was what i kept hearing. so i make my way back to the study lounge where we were watching the movie, and i see kyle and rachel outside the door, ... looking... like soemthing is going on. sooo i ask... whats going on? and then they tell me about how the other guy is in there right now with aida (our really cute and awesome RA who i feel really badly for), getting busted for bringing alcohol into the study lounge. so then the three of us go in, and aida keeps asking us whose it is. im kinda "standing in the corner crying" is what kyle says hahaha. i was just standing in front of the door behind everyone holding my teddy bear. (ok more about teddy bears later).
and she keeps asking whose it is, and kyle says its not mine (because of course it wasnt) and rachel doesnt even need to really say anything because ... well none of us had anything to do with it. it was pretty fun for me because i was still like just in front of the door like a statue and no one was even asking me anything. so i got to watch the whole thing from like a three foot distance like live theatre. not bad.
so aida asks again, the guy responsible suggests that we throw it away and forget the whole thing. aida says are you fucking kidding me this is my job you asshole we cant just forget about it.
no she didnt really say that, she was very nice and calm about it the whole time but ya know.
and omg. the guy STILL wouldn't (i feel bad callng him "the guy" becusae he is our friend) claim it! so he attempted to put on this noble front by saying, "ok whatever, whatever, i'll take the blame for it"
which all three of us had a great teasing him about because... come on. take the blame for it? what happened to just taking responsbility for it... hahaha.
and the poor guy had to dump it all out of the brand new bottle and had to chug down his cup too. which he kept complaining about for the rest of the night.
he's a good guy though. i feel like i'm making him out to be a not so good guy because i keep calling him "the guy".
so that happened and it was a fun experience for us i guess and we finished our movie and adam (he's british!!!!) came in asking if we'd seen zach's room key and then zach came in later to say goodnight to us, after asking rachel to wake keith up for him to let zach in (they're roommates, keith and zach and... one other guy.. ivan? i think ivan.) and then sleep with him (rachel and keith not zach and keith. rachel and keith have a thing, which is cool, but they would never floorcest. ) so then keith could go back to sleep happy and not upset at zach for having to let him in. ok yeah so zach came in to say goodnight... and oh!! funny thing today. zach said, "gosh im so hungry. i've only had a bowl of macaroni becasue i'm trying to fast" (yom kippur) . rachel and i were like -_- . and then hahahah. blah blah i keep digressing. wait now that i think about it.. where did he sleep last night? eh oh well.
i actually locked myself out of my room already too. my friend knows. i was on the phone with him when it happened... trying to get reception hahah.
the funny part about that was how i put a post it on the door saying "STOP! DO YOU HAVE YOUR ROOM KEY, etc. ???" and i still locked myself out. barefoot. yup.
ohhh
so yeahh about aida having to write the guy up for the alcohol. i felt more bad for her than for the guy really cause aida is really the nicest person ever and she did NOT want to have to do this. i mean who does. but espeically aida. sorry aida. =(
hm oh yeha
teddy bears.
i have never slept with a teddy bear in my life. i dont think even as a baby. if i did as a baby i probably would have remembered because i would have probaby done it after i was a baby too. but i have never slept with a teddy bear.
so last year my piano teacher got my this diamond bar brahma tshirt wearing teddy bear. and my mom strongly felt that i should bring it with me here. besides that i brought these two little white tiger stuffed animals i have, which remind me of our crazy 06 class! and other stuff but whatevs for now. anyway.
so i have been sleeping with that teddy bear.
i never thought i would. but i do. and yesterday, before the movie, i was trying to do math hw... which i could just... not even get past number 6... so i went back to my room to get a highlighter or sooomething.. i saw my teddy bear, just grabbed it and went back. i forgot the highlighter. but the thing was... having that stuffed animal there on the table with me really helped! oh gosh. i dont know why but it really did. and i love sleeping with it.
after a while it got noisy int he study lounge... haha yeah. so i went back to get my ipod. and i got even further with my math hw.
so, a while back i posted a bulletin after i read the book "the perks of being a wallflower", about how in the book, charlie, in the process of thinking of presents for a secret santa thing... thinks of three things he thinks everyone should just have. like a paint set for instance. and a harmonica. even if you dont paint and dont play the harmonica. you should still hve them just in case he thought. oh. and magnetic poetry.
i really really want magnetic poetry.
anyway
here are my three things
a teddy bear. music you can carry. and a worry stone.
before experience i htink i had said, rubber cement, play-doh, and... i dunno what.
but yeah.
definitely a teddy bear. because you never know.
i sure didnt.
thanks mom.
mmm... what else.
oh yeah. going back on the reading is sexy thing. today on the way back from class, i saw a guy hanging around on the court thing in front of my hall, he was like laying down on a bench beside a tree reading. he was like, such a cool looking guy. i think he had a pierced eyebrow. and a hat. hahah. i dunno but i jsut remember those things. and he was reading, with the book on his stomach kind of thing, and he had a reaallly slight smile on his face.
i jsut really liked seeing that. i woulda taken a picture but i left vivi at home.
mmm what else.
oh yeah.
abbey road.
all this year i've been saying im going to buy the abbey road poster.
so i went
and they were sold out.
and i was maaaad.
and i called nadia and domo to vent. hahah. thanks guys.
what else what else.
oh yeah.
i didnt sign up for free tutoring at covel. which im really sad about now. because i totally could have but i didnt. but im just going to pray really hard that i dont need it.
(pray for me pleeeeeasssseeee) thank you =) and you're in mine. foshos.
what else! ummm
um um um
i feel bad because my mom calls me all the time when im grumpy. so she must think that i dont miss her from the tone of my voice on the phone. but i really do. like last night i really missed her.
and this whole summer, i learned a lot about missing people. i'll share that with you later. this is already very long.
but really, i know what it is to miss people now. because i will seriously get up and find myself missing certain people. in general i miss you all the time. really. but now its also that at certain points during the day i can just think to myself, oh wow. i really miss ____ or i really miss ____ or... i miss ____ and _____ .
i dont always tell people. but if you dont mind hearing it, please let me know because i would love to tell you that i miss you when i do. and dont think that you are being narcississtic in that you want to hear me say i miss you. becuase i know i would like hearing it too if you meant it. and really, this whole summer i spent learning what it is to say i miss you and mean it. so if i ever said it to you this summer or recently or what have you, be happy and know that i really do miss you. and seriously. let me know.
because i know for me, and for other friends that i have had this discussion with, soemtimes we find ourselves just waiting for the "right time" to say the things that really matter. like i love you, or i care about you, or i miss you. or even ... you annoy the heck out of me. hahaha.
but in the end its just the right time when you make it.
so help me make it the right time okay?
okay.
i'm going to go "study".
=P
wish you were here-
lo
PS!!
oh yeah. i had class at EIGHT AM TODAY! seriously. i thought i'd hate it. but wow. the campus is so nice when there are only five people walking around and its misty. so nice. ok. have a nice year!
i think those three words some up ucla very very well. everybody reads and everybody is sexy and everybody reading is sexy and everybody sexy is reading.
which is okay.
last night, i think it was 12 am and my very good friend and floormate rachel decided we needed a movie night. or .. very early movie morning. haha what have you, after a nice long day of studying and messing and studying and running to starbucks with kyle who got us free drinks! i like walking through westwood at night. especially when its NOT to go down to the damn course reader store only to find that you are three hours late from closing time. -_-
so we watched american beauty.
which was
amazing.
i cant believe how much i liked that movie. and i'm not going to lie, from a very nonengaged point of view, i can see how some parts that were meant to be very poignant and profound could easily be seen as cheesy and cliche. "there is so much beauty!!" "my heart cant take it!!" ... well those weren't the direct quotes but i think you kinda get it.
but even so, the lines within the context of the movie were bee ah youu tee full.
ok especially the plastic blag floating around. i loved that. i dont know why but it made me so happy. and i dont even know how they shot the bag like that, it wasnt just floating around, it was seriously having a dance with the wind and all the leaves couldn't help but join in. does it always look like that when litter meets a draft?
i know im being ironic, saying it was a dance and then calling it litter meeting a gust of wind. but that is how it was in that scene. something that i always just saw as TRASH... suddenly turned so ... miraculous even.
weird.
good movie.
everything about it was good.
even mena suvari's character which i kept fluctuating my opinion on turned out good. i really think this movie is amazing. every scene that caused me any slight discomfort at the onset, developed right after into a lesson or a plot-related epiphany which was just ... really moving. and beautiful.
there's one scene where mena suvari's character and kevin spacey's character are about to do it, and she really portrays the baby she is, the way she looks in the screen and whatnot. and i was getting antsy at that part because althroughout the movie, she came off as this experienced teen whore. and all the while that she was flirting with spacey's character, it was so... not a big deal. and then all of a sudden in that scene she really was the baby that she really is. and just when they're about to do it, and im sitting there dying in my seat because it all just looks so wrong, the scene just develops into this beautiful thing. and no i dont mean sex. there is no sex. but really. if you have seen the movie i think you know what im talking about.
so that is one example. of how a potentially disturbing scene just... isnt. and in fact is something so much... more. i dunno i thought it was pretty amazing.
especially because it happens more than once in the movie.
there is this other scene, where ricky's dad comes to kevin spacey's character through the rain. theyre in the garage. and ricky's dad just looks so troubled, and spacey's character tells him things will be okay (this description of mine is making it sound liek the two were friends or something... believe me that is not how it was). and then ricky's dad comes and starts hugging spacey's character, and there is a shot of ricky's dad's hand on spacey's bare back, and that hand is diggggggging into spacey's back.
thats what it looked like, and i started freaking out because i thought he was trying to kill him or something.
oh man.
it had nothing to do with killing.
but when that hug was over,
MAN
what happened next!! shiiiettttt i LOVED IT. I LOVED IT SO MUCH. waaaaa. i cant contain it. seriously. amazing.
good writing man.
GOSH THAT WAS a freaking good movie. thaaanks rachel babe =)
so moving on with my few ucla stories...
oh yeah. so while we were watching the movie, towards the end our friend and floormate zach walks in around 1:30ish after returning from his first non-dry frat party. he was doing pretty well actually. but he told us to wait till morning to really see haha.
so i guess that somehow gave another guy who was watching the movie with us (not kyle) and who i will sustain anonymous for the time being, the idea to go get some alcohol...
and bring it in the study lounge.
which. if you dont live in a dorm, i will inform you now, is a very stupid thing to do. because a. youre not supposed to have alcohol here at all. b. if you do, you're safe if you keep it in your dorm room and c. with your door closed d. so the RA's can pretend they dont know about it. this goes for marijuana and whatever else people usually do behind closed doors anyway. i guess.
so this guy, decided to bring it into the study lounge.
-_-
and our RA decided to walk in.
what happened was, we actually decided to pause the movie because i needed to pee and put my stuff back because i'm paranoid that someone was going to jack my marvelous calc book... hahaha. no i was really just worried about the ipod. haha, so we took a break, and i go to the bathroom, and rachel is around doing her stuff and so is kyle and the other guy... is bringing in his "on the rocks" whatever you call it. i know it was like.. something punch on the rocks blah i really dont remember. i just remember "on the rocks" because that was what i kept hearing. so i make my way back to the study lounge where we were watching the movie, and i see kyle and rachel outside the door, ... looking... like soemthing is going on. sooo i ask... whats going on? and then they tell me about how the other guy is in there right now with aida (our really cute and awesome RA who i feel really badly for), getting busted for bringing alcohol into the study lounge. so then the three of us go in, and aida keeps asking us whose it is. im kinda "standing in the corner crying" is what kyle says hahaha. i was just standing in front of the door behind everyone holding my teddy bear. (ok more about teddy bears later).
and she keeps asking whose it is, and kyle says its not mine (because of course it wasnt) and rachel doesnt even need to really say anything because ... well none of us had anything to do with it. it was pretty fun for me because i was still like just in front of the door like a statue and no one was even asking me anything. so i got to watch the whole thing from like a three foot distance like live theatre. not bad.
so aida asks again, the guy responsible suggests that we throw it away and forget the whole thing. aida says are you fucking kidding me this is my job you asshole we cant just forget about it.
no she didnt really say that, she was very nice and calm about it the whole time but ya know.
and omg. the guy STILL wouldn't (i feel bad callng him "the guy" becusae he is our friend) claim it! so he attempted to put on this noble front by saying, "ok whatever, whatever, i'll take the blame for it"
which all three of us had a great teasing him about because... come on. take the blame for it? what happened to just taking responsbility for it... hahaha.
and the poor guy had to dump it all out of the brand new bottle and had to chug down his cup too. which he kept complaining about for the rest of the night.
he's a good guy though. i feel like i'm making him out to be a not so good guy because i keep calling him "the guy".
so that happened and it was a fun experience for us i guess and we finished our movie and adam (he's british!!!!) came in asking if we'd seen zach's room key and then zach came in later to say goodnight to us, after asking rachel to wake keith up for him to let zach in (they're roommates, keith and zach and... one other guy.. ivan? i think ivan.) and then sleep with him (rachel and keith not zach and keith. rachel and keith have a thing, which is cool, but they would never floorcest. ) so then keith could go back to sleep happy and not upset at zach for having to let him in. ok yeah so zach came in to say goodnight... and oh!! funny thing today. zach said, "gosh im so hungry. i've only had a bowl of macaroni becasue i'm trying to fast" (yom kippur) . rachel and i were like -_- . and then hahahah. blah blah i keep digressing. wait now that i think about it.. where did he sleep last night? eh oh well.
i actually locked myself out of my room already too. my friend knows. i was on the phone with him when it happened... trying to get reception hahah.
the funny part about that was how i put a post it on the door saying "STOP! DO YOU HAVE YOUR ROOM KEY, etc. ???" and i still locked myself out. barefoot. yup.
ohhh
so yeahh about aida having to write the guy up for the alcohol. i felt more bad for her than for the guy really cause aida is really the nicest person ever and she did NOT want to have to do this. i mean who does. but espeically aida. sorry aida. =(
hm oh yeha
teddy bears.
i have never slept with a teddy bear in my life. i dont think even as a baby. if i did as a baby i probably would have remembered because i would have probaby done it after i was a baby too. but i have never slept with a teddy bear.
so last year my piano teacher got my this diamond bar brahma tshirt wearing teddy bear. and my mom strongly felt that i should bring it with me here. besides that i brought these two little white tiger stuffed animals i have, which remind me of our crazy 06 class! and other stuff but whatevs for now. anyway.
so i have been sleeping with that teddy bear.
i never thought i would. but i do. and yesterday, before the movie, i was trying to do math hw... which i could just... not even get past number 6... so i went back to my room to get a highlighter or sooomething.. i saw my teddy bear, just grabbed it and went back. i forgot the highlighter. but the thing was... having that stuffed animal there on the table with me really helped! oh gosh. i dont know why but it really did. and i love sleeping with it.
after a while it got noisy int he study lounge... haha yeah. so i went back to get my ipod. and i got even further with my math hw.
so, a while back i posted a bulletin after i read the book "the perks of being a wallflower", about how in the book, charlie, in the process of thinking of presents for a secret santa thing... thinks of three things he thinks everyone should just have. like a paint set for instance. and a harmonica. even if you dont paint and dont play the harmonica. you should still hve them just in case he thought. oh. and magnetic poetry.
i really really want magnetic poetry.
anyway
here are my three things
a teddy bear. music you can carry. and a worry stone.
before experience i htink i had said, rubber cement, play-doh, and... i dunno what.
but yeah.
definitely a teddy bear. because you never know.
i sure didnt.
thanks mom.
mmm... what else.
oh yeah. going back on the reading is sexy thing. today on the way back from class, i saw a guy hanging around on the court thing in front of my hall, he was like laying down on a bench beside a tree reading. he was like, such a cool looking guy. i think he had a pierced eyebrow. and a hat. hahah. i dunno but i jsut remember those things. and he was reading, with the book on his stomach kind of thing, and he had a reaallly slight smile on his face.
i jsut really liked seeing that. i woulda taken a picture but i left vivi at home.
mmm what else.
oh yeah.
abbey road.
all this year i've been saying im going to buy the abbey road poster.
so i went
and they were sold out.
and i was maaaad.
and i called nadia and domo to vent. hahah. thanks guys.
what else what else.
oh yeah.
i didnt sign up for free tutoring at covel. which im really sad about now. because i totally could have but i didnt. but im just going to pray really hard that i dont need it.
(pray for me pleeeeeasssseeee) thank you =) and you're in mine. foshos.
what else! ummm
um um um
i feel bad because my mom calls me all the time when im grumpy. so she must think that i dont miss her from the tone of my voice on the phone. but i really do. like last night i really missed her.
and this whole summer, i learned a lot about missing people. i'll share that with you later. this is already very long.
but really, i know what it is to miss people now. because i will seriously get up and find myself missing certain people. in general i miss you all the time. really. but now its also that at certain points during the day i can just think to myself, oh wow. i really miss ____ or i really miss ____ or... i miss ____ and _____ .
i dont always tell people. but if you dont mind hearing it, please let me know because i would love to tell you that i miss you when i do. and dont think that you are being narcississtic in that you want to hear me say i miss you. becuase i know i would like hearing it too if you meant it. and really, this whole summer i spent learning what it is to say i miss you and mean it. so if i ever said it to you this summer or recently or what have you, be happy and know that i really do miss you. and seriously. let me know.
because i know for me, and for other friends that i have had this discussion with, soemtimes we find ourselves just waiting for the "right time" to say the things that really matter. like i love you, or i care about you, or i miss you. or even ... you annoy the heck out of me. hahaha.
but in the end its just the right time when you make it.
so help me make it the right time okay?
okay.
i'm going to go "study".
=P
wish you were here-
lo
PS!!
oh yeah. i had class at EIGHT AM TODAY! seriously. i thought i'd hate it. but wow. the campus is so nice when there are only five people walking around and its misty. so nice. ok. have a nice year!
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