reading is sexy. dont drink and study. and sleep with teddy bears not floormates.

reading is sexy.


i think those three words some up ucla very very well. everybody reads and everybody is sexy and everybody reading is sexy and everybody sexy is reading.

which is okay.


last night, i think it was 12 am and my very good friend and floormate rachel decided we needed a movie night. or .. very early movie morning. haha what have you, after a nice long day of studying and messing and studying and running to starbucks with kyle who got us free drinks! i like walking through westwood at night. especially when its NOT to go down to the damn course reader store only to find that you are three hours late from closing time. -_-

so we watched american beauty.

which was

amazing.

i cant believe how much i liked that movie. and i'm not going to lie, from a very nonengaged point of view, i can see how some parts that were meant to be very poignant and profound could easily be seen as cheesy and cliche. "there is so much beauty!!" "my heart cant take it!!" ... well those weren't the direct quotes but i think you kinda get it.

but even so, the lines within the context of the movie were bee ah youu tee full.

ok especially the plastic blag floating around. i loved that. i dont know why but it made me so happy. and i dont even know how they shot the bag like that, it wasnt just floating around, it was seriously having a dance with the wind and all the leaves couldn't help but join in. does it always look like that when litter meets a draft?

i know im being ironic, saying it was a dance and then calling it litter meeting a gust of wind. but that is how it was in that scene. something that i always just saw as TRASH... suddenly turned so ... miraculous even.

weird.

good movie.

everything about it was good.

even mena suvari's character which i kept fluctuating my opinion on turned out good. i really think this movie is amazing. every scene that caused me any slight discomfort at the onset, developed right after into a lesson or a plot-related epiphany which was just ... really moving. and beautiful.

there's one scene where mena suvari's character and kevin spacey's character are about to do it, and she really portrays the baby she is, the way she looks in the screen and whatnot. and i was getting antsy at that part because althroughout the movie, she came off as this experienced teen whore. and all the while that she was flirting with spacey's character, it was so... not a big deal. and then all of a sudden in that scene she really was the baby that she really is. and just when they're about to do it, and im sitting there dying in my seat because it all just looks so wrong, the scene just develops into this beautiful thing. and no i dont mean sex. there is no sex. but really. if you have seen the movie i think you know what im talking about.

so that is one example. of how a potentially disturbing scene just... isnt. and in fact is something so much... more. i dunno i thought it was pretty amazing.

especially because it happens more than once in the movie.

there is this other scene, where ricky's dad comes to kevin spacey's character through the rain. theyre in the garage. and ricky's dad just looks so troubled, and spacey's character tells him things will be okay (this description of mine is making it sound liek the two were friends or something... believe me that is not how it was). and then ricky's dad comes and starts hugging spacey's character, and there is a shot of ricky's dad's hand on spacey's bare back, and that hand is diggggggging into spacey's back.

thats what it looked like, and i started freaking out because i thought he was trying to kill him or something.

oh man.

it had nothing to do with killing.

but when that hug was over,
MAN

what happened next!! shiiiettttt i LOVED IT. I LOVED IT SO MUCH. waaaaa. i cant contain it. seriously. amazing.

good writing man.


GOSH THAT WAS a freaking good movie. thaaanks rachel babe =)




so moving on with my few ucla stories...

oh yeah. so while we were watching the movie, towards the end our friend and floormate zach walks in around 1:30ish after returning from his first non-dry frat party. he was doing pretty well actually. but he told us to wait till morning to really see haha.

so i guess that somehow gave another guy who was watching the movie with us (not kyle) and who i will sustain anonymous for the time being, the idea to go get some alcohol...

and bring it in the study lounge.


which. if you dont live in a dorm, i will inform you now, is a very stupid thing to do. because a. youre not supposed to have alcohol here at all. b. if you do, you're safe if you keep it in your dorm room and c. with your door closed d. so the RA's can pretend they dont know about it. this goes for marijuana and whatever else people usually do behind closed doors anyway. i guess.

so this guy, decided to bring it into the study lounge.

-_-


and our RA decided to walk in.

what happened was, we actually decided to pause the movie because i needed to pee and put my stuff back because i'm paranoid that someone was going to jack my marvelous calc book... hahaha. no i was really just worried about the ipod. haha, so we took a break, and i go to the bathroom, and rachel is around doing her stuff and so is kyle and the other guy... is bringing in his "on the rocks" whatever you call it. i know it was like.. something punch on the rocks blah i really dont remember. i just remember "on the rocks" because that was what i kept hearing. so i make my way back to the study lounge where we were watching the movie, and i see kyle and rachel outside the door, ... looking... like soemthing is going on. sooo i ask... whats going on? and then they tell me about how the other guy is in there right now with aida (our really cute and awesome RA who i feel really badly for), getting busted for bringing alcohol into the study lounge. so then the three of us go in, and aida keeps asking us whose it is. im kinda "standing in the corner crying" is what kyle says hahaha. i was just standing in front of the door behind everyone holding my teddy bear. (ok more about teddy bears later).

and she keeps asking whose it is, and kyle says its not mine (because of course it wasnt) and rachel doesnt even need to really say anything because ... well none of us had anything to do with it. it was pretty fun for me because i was still like just in front of the door like a statue and no one was even asking me anything. so i got to watch the whole thing from like a three foot distance like live theatre. not bad.

so aida asks again, the guy responsible suggests that we throw it away and forget the whole thing. aida says are you fucking kidding me this is my job you asshole we cant just forget about it.

no she didnt really say that, she was very nice and calm about it the whole time but ya know.

and omg. the guy STILL wouldn't (i feel bad callng him "the guy" becusae he is our friend) claim it! so he attempted to put on this noble front by saying, "ok whatever, whatever, i'll take the blame for it"

which all three of us had a great teasing him about because... come on. take the blame for it? what happened to just taking responsbility for it... hahaha.

and the poor guy had to dump it all out of the brand new bottle and had to chug down his cup too. which he kept complaining about for the rest of the night.

he's a good guy though. i feel like i'm making him out to be a not so good guy because i keep calling him "the guy".

so that happened and it was a fun experience for us i guess and we finished our movie and adam (he's british!!!!) came in asking if we'd seen zach's room key and then zach came in later to say goodnight to us, after asking rachel to wake keith up for him to let zach in (they're roommates, keith and zach and... one other guy.. ivan? i think ivan.) and then sleep with him (rachel and keith not zach and keith. rachel and keith have a thing, which is cool, but they would never floorcest. ) so then keith could go back to sleep happy and not upset at zach for having to let him in. ok yeah so zach came in to say goodnight... and oh!! funny thing today. zach said, "gosh im so hungry. i've only had a bowl of macaroni becasue i'm trying to fast" (yom kippur) . rachel and i were like -_- . and then hahahah. blah blah i keep digressing. wait now that i think about it.. where did he sleep last night? eh oh well.

i actually locked myself out of my room already too. my friend knows. i was on the phone with him when it happened... trying to get reception hahah.

the funny part about that was how i put a post it on the door saying "STOP! DO YOU HAVE YOUR ROOM KEY, etc. ???" and i still locked myself out. barefoot. yup.

ohhh

so yeahh about aida having to write the guy up for the alcohol. i felt more bad for her than for the guy really cause aida is really the nicest person ever and she did NOT want to have to do this. i mean who does. but espeically aida. sorry aida. =(

hm oh yeha

teddy bears.


i have never slept with a teddy bear in my life. i dont think even as a baby. if i did as a baby i probably would have remembered because i would have probaby done it after i was a baby too. but i have never slept with a teddy bear.

so last year my piano teacher got my this diamond bar brahma tshirt wearing teddy bear. and my mom strongly felt that i should bring it with me here. besides that i brought these two little white tiger stuffed animals i have, which remind me of our crazy 06 class! and other stuff but whatevs for now. anyway.

so i have been sleeping with that teddy bear.

i never thought i would. but i do. and yesterday, before the movie, i was trying to do math hw... which i could just... not even get past number 6... so i went back to my room to get a highlighter or sooomething.. i saw my teddy bear, just grabbed it and went back. i forgot the highlighter. but the thing was... having that stuffed animal there on the table with me really helped! oh gosh. i dont know why but it really did. and i love sleeping with it.

after a while it got noisy int he study lounge... haha yeah. so i went back to get my ipod. and i got even further with my math hw.

so, a while back i posted a bulletin after i read the book "the perks of being a wallflower", about how in the book, charlie, in the process of thinking of presents for a secret santa thing... thinks of three things he thinks everyone should just have. like a paint set for instance. and a harmonica. even if you dont paint and dont play the harmonica. you should still hve them just in case he thought. oh. and magnetic poetry.

i really really want magnetic poetry.

anyway

here are my three things

a teddy bear. music you can carry. and a worry stone.


before experience i htink i had said, rubber cement, play-doh, and... i dunno what.


but yeah.

definitely a teddy bear. because you never know.
i sure didnt.


thanks mom.





mmm... what else.
oh yeah. going back on the reading is sexy thing. today on the way back from class, i saw a guy hanging around on the court thing in front of my hall, he was like laying down on a bench beside a tree reading. he was like, such a cool looking guy. i think he had a pierced eyebrow. and a hat. hahah. i dunno but i jsut remember those things. and he was reading, with the book on his stomach kind of thing, and he had a reaallly slight smile on his face.

i jsut really liked seeing that. i woulda taken a picture but i left vivi at home.

mmm what else.

oh yeah.

abbey road.

all this year i've been saying im going to buy the abbey road poster.
so i went
and they were sold out.

and i was maaaad.

and i called nadia and domo to vent. hahah. thanks guys.


what else what else.

oh yeah.
i didnt sign up for free tutoring at covel. which im really sad about now. because i totally could have but i didnt. but im just going to pray really hard that i dont need it.

(pray for me pleeeeeasssseeee) thank you =) and you're in mine. foshos.

what else! ummm

um um um

i feel bad because my mom calls me all the time when im grumpy. so she must think that i dont miss her from the tone of my voice on the phone. but i really do. like last night i really missed her.

and this whole summer, i learned a lot about missing people. i'll share that with you later. this is already very long.
but really, i know what it is to miss people now. because i will seriously get up and find myself missing certain people. in general i miss you all the time. really. but now its also that at certain points during the day i can just think to myself, oh wow. i really miss ____ or i really miss ____ or... i miss ____ and _____ .

i dont always tell people. but if you dont mind hearing it, please let me know because i would love to tell you that i miss you when i do. and dont think that you are being narcississtic in that you want to hear me say i miss you. becuase i know i would like hearing it too if you meant it. and really, this whole summer i spent learning what it is to say i miss you and mean it. so if i ever said it to you this summer or recently or what have you, be happy and know that i really do miss you. and seriously. let me know.

because i know for me, and for other friends that i have had this discussion with, soemtimes we find ourselves just waiting for the "right time" to say the things that really matter. like i love you, or i care about you, or i miss you. or even ... you annoy the heck out of me. hahaha.

but in the end its just the right time when you make it.
so help me make it the right time okay?

okay.


i'm going to go "study".
=P

wish you were here-
lo






PS!!

oh yeah. i had class at EIGHT AM TODAY! seriously. i thought i'd hate it. but wow. the campus is so nice when there are only five people walking around and its misty. so nice. ok. have a nice year!