Currently Listening Fighter By Christina Aguilera Fighter see related

Dear Johnny Angel:

It's not every day that you come face to face with evil. In fact, very rarely, if ever, do we really come into contact with anything or that horrid a nature, evil.

When i was younger and used to watch Power Rangers, there were the good guys (rangers) and the bad guys/girl (rita)(and her minions). The thing was, I knew they were evil, but i didn't know that they knew they were evil. i just thought they were throroughly confused beings that thought what they were doing was actually good. It never occured to me back then, that people actually choose to be horrid, that people choose to inflict suffering on others, I just never believed that people, or even just one person, could purposefully be evil.

But now i'm older. And you'd think that by now i'd know better, that by now i'd know that there are good and bad people. Sure, i know now that there are human beings and nonhuman beings, figuratively speaking. Still, i never believed in BAD HUMAN BEINGS.

Until recently anyway.

It started somewhere, and i know it wasn't me. I can prove that hypothetically in two ways. First of all, i was just being myself; no one else had ever really been bothered by that before. Secondly, i or anyone else has no power over anyone else's emotions. If you will be upset with me, its your fault. You're the one LETTING me upset you. THAT's a fact.

Somewhere, something happened and she couldn't stand me anymore. Rumor has it she developed an inferiority omplex, shadowed by her overwhelming superiority complex. Whatever it is, I don't care. Not anymore.

My contentment lies in knowing that i tried to help us out. Tried to salvage whatever shallow relationship we had, tried to giver her the opportunity to save herself in my open eyes.(my eyes that speak for many other else's eyes.) I couldn't believe that someone could really be so nonhuman. so incompassionate, so unforgiving, so un-humble, so unwilling to try.

Everybody makes mistakes. I made a mistake once, with someone else. (Someone actually worth my time.) Owing to my inveterated belief that human beings aren't evil, i believed i had a chance at redemption in his eyes, his heart, his mind, his whatever makes a man human. I believed in forgiveness, and most of all i believed in humility. He proved to me that human beings really aren't that bad, and they are that good, that compassionate, that forgiving, and that humble, and that much willing to try. But of course. Who wasn't?

Well that answer came pretty quickly.

This time, she made the mistake. If i made the mistake, i would be sorry, i can be humble, i am a human being. But it was her. and she's not.

She came into that office that day, on my invitation. We sat, i talked, she questioned, i answered. I had the upperhand. She had been wallowing in self-deluded lies and completely unwarranted half-truths (not even half-truths...mores like... lies). Here i was quashing them, she nodded, i was trying to make her face them.

I gave her the only chance she'd ever get to fix her broken self in my eyes. But all i got was a shock. All i got were the same self-deluded lies and unwarranted half-truths just pelted back into my face with indignant cut-offs and a boiling temper. I understood her problem. She was all a lie and that was her only truth. Now i knew who she was, who i was, who she'd never be.

As she got up and left the room, so disrespectfully, so without a closure, in my mid-sentence, i couldn't help but see the words flash across the back of her head, "COWARD." Too afraid to face the lies that were so deeply now her truths. What a shard of glass. So sharp, so easily broken.

She was gone and after a good few years, i stood there realizing what it really was all about this time. I realized it was all about one thing to her, and forever I'll be thinking in response,

Honey. You could only ever even dream just to even wish that maybe even HALF of you were even worth comparing to me. So STOP FLATTERING YOURSELF.

-Lo Ling.