"you're my happy now"

i thought the postsecrets for this week were really good

so i thought i'd let you guys know. go take a look

postsecret.com



my favorite part about postsecret.com is the email responses. hahaha. i laugh but really, those to me are the best part.

i dunno. maybe i should have saved it for later.

(this is just the intro you really don't need to read it.)

I have a friend named Dominique. She's a junior in high school. I'm a freshman in college. We're really good friends.

Over the summer we used to write each other these looong messages, and we would just talk about everything. EVERYTHING!

Then the school year started and that pattern slightly (really) starting falling apart. Of course, our friendship didn't. =)

A while ago Dominique came up with this idea of sharing our favorite postsecret every Sunday. It's not emails about EVERYTHING, but you'd be amazed at how much we look forward to Sundays now.

It's just always interesting to know which ones she liked and why. I always want to know. And of course, i want to tell her mine.

The year goes by and there's always a lot more things to share with your friends than your new favorite post secret of the week.

So we share.





Sometimes I send her videos, sometimes song lyrics, whatever, anything and whatever everything. She does the same. Some days, my share is to tell her the profound thoughts that I am constantly brewing in my head.... hahaha yeah okay...
or simple thoughts like the one I thought of yesterday.





This is probably the most honest (and most vague) I have been and will be in a long while. Whatever.
i kind of love that word.

I realize--
I don't hold the only keys to my happiness anymore. I don't I even hold the major set. Maybe the backup. But whointheworld uses their back up key ... to happiness? or unbridled emotion?

Somewhere along the line that keyhole of mine decided that everything Someone Else said and did and says and does would and will fit like a glove, and that door would swing wide open. And while it still opens with other keys-- it definitely ain't swinging that fast or opening as wide.



Who decides these things? Did I? Did I reaaaally just decide to hand them to Someone Else one day? Or maybe they were stolen. Maybe I dropped them and you picked them up. ...?


It doesn't bother me. I like it. I want you to have them.
Well, at least one. I should probably keep the other.



The point of concern to me now is just this:
I realize just how many "Someone Else's" must be carrying around someone else's keys to happiness. or to unbridled emotion as it comes surging through that door. How many people must be carrying other people's keys to happiness


and not even know it.





I'm hugely afraid that my saying this might scare people.
wthell it scares me.
I know. It's kiiind of a big deal, you're the one that affects someone else's emotions that much.

I don't really know what to say to make it any less scary.


Except that, it's okay.










The problem with this note, furthermore,
is that I really wasn't nearly as honest and complete as I may have hinted I intended to be.


SORRY !

In this note: Dominique Boubion (notes)

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