great minds; great hearts

Cop It or Drop It: Martin Margiela Single Lens Sunglasses

Cop It or Drop It: Martin Margiela Single Lens Sunglasses - Roc4Life


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I want to give you some good lovin'... but how?!

Mmmmhm. The title of today's post is a play off of one of my current fixes (as seen in side panel ;-D ) , "Turn Your Lights Down Low" by Bob Marley and Lauryn Hill (and fantastically covered by my permanent fix, MissCarolinexoxo & her cousin Lexoxo).

Alright on to the juicy stuff.

Quite recently my friend Randy's (yes his name has been changed to protect his identity) girlfriend asked him to upload some new pictures of himself onto Facebook. She's overseas right now and I guess that's what long distance couples do to keep their overseas relationships, uh, afloat... (I had to!)

That was all fine and good, until Randy realized that all his new pictures involve him posing with, dun dun... OTHER GIRLS!

...

So I guess at this point you're either asking "What's the problem?" or saying "What the F*CK! Jerk!"

So who's reaction is right?

After listening to Randy's musings about his girlfriend for long enough now, I've developed a strong persona of her in my mind as the jealous type. Jokingly, Randy, who has rarely if ever cropped a Facebook picture, mused that he might just have to take up cropping (at the same time making a jab at my own recent cropped facebook pictures... "Jerk!" ;P).

As he says this, I started wondering. So what does this situation mean for Randy's relationship?While he sits cropping his pictures, or rather, not uploading them at all, feeling like the petty truths of the pictures are ones that must be kept from his ladyfriend, does this mean that Long Distance Lady isn't the girl for him? Or does this mean that Randy is a considerate boyfriend who has simply chosen to avert needless conflict for the sake of maintaining the grace of his relationship and his partner's peace of mind? Is that right? I always thought the basis of any strong relationship as we know is honesty and open communication. So what's the deal here.

I remember about two years ago when one of my best male friends started dating his now-girlfriend. We were planning our quarterly dinner and I asked, "That's cool with your girl right?" He responded with a confident, secure, almost "duh" response, saying "Of course, she wouldn't be my girlfriend if it wasn't okay." I met her shortly after, and to this day I can't and will not picture him with anyone better.

On the other hand, there was that time when Eva Longoria began being spotted an "alarming" number of times out with JC Chasez after her marriage to Tony Parker, to which my friend Ashley responded, "That is not right. After a certain point you cant just go out with your guy friends one on one anymore. You have to respect your relationship." I do understand and agree that marriage is sacrifice, and taking a step back, not just marriage but any working relationship. However, Eva hung out with JC and guess what, Eva is still married to Tony Parker and as far as we know, they are well and dandy. Not everyone is Brad and Angelina...

In his defense, Randy tells me that his girlfriend has acknowledged that she is the jealous type and has expressed that she herself has chosen the path of "ignorance is bliss." According to him, she wouldn't want to see the pictures, so he's not going to show her!

Eh.

And I think that's fine. Not saying that's how I would do it, but just that I think it's fine, for them. (I'd have him post the pictures... so I'd know which girls to tell to watch their backs later... JUST KIDDING.) As my friend Jo said, Lady Long Distance would have to be delusional to think that Randy has no female friends. By carefully considering what pictures to post, Randy would really only be keeping from her things that she already knows, but would rather not have to see. In essence, not hiding the truth or closing open communication, but rather simply, not pushing one's buttons. Maybe having some other girls in your picture doesn't push your girl's buttons. Maybe it does. As my other friend Daryl pointed out, for all we know it could bother Randy's girlfriend even more that he doesn't wear green. (Why Daryl picked green, I don't know.) But with the diversity that comes with that which we call ourselves human, every relationship is bound to be different, and I'd only hope that there would be deeper issues by which one would decide who is truly right for them. In the meantime, I have resolved that Randy was not hiding things, and neither does this situation have really anything to say about his future with Lady Long Distance. Feel free to agree or disagree, as I leave myself free to change my mind as well. I also dont think I will be responding with either a "What's the problem" or a "What the f--," but rather,

Good luck =)

Things that came up today:

• "Nobody Knows It But Me" by Babyface
• awesome pink WebCam for which part of the cost goes to breast cancer research (and it's all mine!!)
• equally awesome Pink HP Wireless Laser Mini Mouse
• Giselle still got it

all hail and holler back

Talk about that bouj behavior

Co and I were channel surfing and this commercial for chocolate pudding comes on.

Man did that chocolate pudding look good. I thought Co missed it so I said out loud to Co, "I really want some chocolate pudding right now."

"Haha what? Really? Why"

"I just saw it on TV, it looked really good, and now I want some chocolate pudding."

Co laughed and then he proceeded to watch some more TV while I went off on a train of thought regarding, well, the chocolate pudding. People sit there, as part of their job, thinking of the perfect commercial to get you to do just that, salivate and then possibly get up and get some chocolate pudding. And then there are the other people, the "fight the man!"-ers, who sit there and think about how someone sat there and thought about how to toy with them in the perfect way to get them to go and spend that cash on that chocolate pudding, and so they don't, thinking that they have come out victorious in this battle of "I know what you're thinking."

In all honesty though, in my perspective I have such a high respect for people that can get things done. So when I see a commercial that works instead of making me uncomfortable (creepy male enhancement guy in a santa suit commercial anyone?), why would I try so hard to undermine the effect of hard work and good marketing? As long as I know I am subjecting myself to marketing manipulation, and as long as I can appreciate it, then I don't necessarily see it as "the man" winning. I'm the one feeding the man... In situations like these I feel more like a patron than a puppet, donating my patron-like funds to creative endeavors that I believe should be fiscally supported. And on top of that, is my stomach's call for chocolate pudding not real? It totally is.

So as I'm constructing this procession of thoughts in my head, all of a sudden I hear in a voice that sounds like (and is) Co's, "Do you wanna go to Ralph's?"

"Go to Ralph's? For what?"

"For pudding!"

...

"Hell ya let's go!!"

So we just got up and went! It was that easy.

Fastforward past the walks through the aisles, past the phonecalls to the friends, the "What kind of V8 did you want?", the "Did you still want horchata?", past the self check out, and past the automatic sliding doors...

and now Co and I are walking out of Ralphs, and we pass this bum (I don't know what to call this guy-- is he really homeless, is he a beggar, is he just hustlin us? what is he?) "random solicitor", who mumbles something to Co who was nearest to him, probably about wanting money or food. I figure that's what he was saying because next thing I know Co is pulling out one of the puddings from our shopping cart and walking over to the person.

Next thing I know Co is walking back towards me... with the pudding packet still in his hand!

"What was that about Co??"

"...He didn't want it!"

"Wait... WHAT?"

"Yeah! Man. Only in Westwood would a bum tell you that chocolate isn't good for him. He said it gives him bumps."

..

"Talk about that bouj behavior..."

Recovering from the shock of what we just experienced--

Ok pause.

Digression:

At this point I am stopped to wonder, maybe chocolate really DOES give the guy "bumps". I feel like we are programmed to think that random solicitors just want liquor, and maybe sometimes they do. How are we supposed to tell? Should we have offered him my banana creme pie flavored pudding instead? That's probably how to tell...

Anyways,

recovering from the shock of what we just experienced, I realized we had a lot of stuff to just carry with our bare hands back to our abodes, to which Co and I decided the solution would be to carry the shopping cart as far as possible in an effort to conserve our energy.

Well we didn't get very far. At all. No sooner had we just passed the bum, when ALL OF A SUDDEN Co was THRUST FORWARD AND BACK from the stopping force of the shopping cart that spontaneously decided to stubbornly plant itself where it was and move no further. Again, complete shock. The thing wouldn't move! Not sure what it was that we just experienced, superhero forcefield not coming to our minds, we switched carts and tried to smart aleck our way as far as possible with this new shopping cart. Lo and behold, KERSPLAT it was like we ran into a wall! Except there was only air in front of us! And that is when I realized, we were being blocked by a real life forcefield. A REAL LIFE FORCEFIELD. It was amazing. But there was no way we were carrying everything we just bought.

So, in ways that will forever be unbeknownst to you, Co and I managed to overcome this forcefield (amazing yes, its true).

Remember our initial plan to just push the cart as far as possible?

Yeah well that ended up being right in front of Sproul Hall, where we live.

our pet shopping cart, Ralphie. parked and happy with his new bike friends.

=)

So.

At this time, I absolutely must take a moment to highlight, appreciate, and share my knowledge of the amazing human being that Co is. A great example right here would simply be the way Co just walked over to the solicitor with a pudding packet. But to me Co's greatness transcends even through the smallest of gestures.

This is the person that goes the extra mile (i accidentaly typed up smile, which also works) not just to smile at you and then awkwardly look away, but he will flat out say hi and sometimes he even WAVES. Even if he doesn't really know you. I realize what a difference things like that make in terms of:

a. if you are a selfish person, think about how much more nice and cozy of a community this must feel like for you, and

b. if you are a selfless person, think about how much more nice and cozy of a community this must feel like for that other person!

Really I am just so admiring of this caringness and also what some might call audacity. As we made our trek back from Ralph's with Ralphie, Co was saying hi to all sorts of people. Students, non-students, janitors, people waiting for the bus, people we'd seen swiping us at Bruin Cafe, etc. A lot of the time these were people that Co had actually built casual relationships with, just by being friendly and saying hello and caring about their existence on a day to day basis. Especially for the people that hold jobs like in Housekeeping or BruinCafe, you see them build relationship with their colleagues, but the world at large is a community. There is no need for such exclusivity. I was so thankful to be friends with him and in his presence, really. I think the best example from just our excursion tonight was when we came to a roadblock in our attempt to wheel the cart all the way from Ralph's to campus and beyond.

We had reached the tennis courts, from where our plan was to now take the elevator up. Well, much to our great disappointment that this was only as far as we got (which is still hella far given that there was a FORCE FIELD like 20 feet from the door of ralphs... ) the elevator was locked. So I'm about to start crying, and then at the most opportune moment, a janitor, this big burly guy with a shaved head and what one would realize is actually a very friendly face, comes out from inside the building. CO in his amazing self, says hi to the guy, exchangs a few words, and the next thing you know, all three of us and our pet shopping cart are going up in what had just been a locked elevator and a lost cause.

Amazing. The simple power of just being nice, of just acknowledging another person's existence. No one had to flash their boobs or anything. ;p

Things that came up today:

• Grease
• pranks
• onesies
• a straight, and a two-pair
• how to spell psoriasis, appoggiatura and elucubrate
• early releases-"Supernova" by Mr Hudson ft. Kanye my lover:

MR HUDSON [FEAT KANYE WEST] - SUPERNOVA from MrHudson on Vimeo.