caring is creepy

Javi is CUTE. & "Voulez-vouz coucher avec moic ce soir?" "haha icant sleep , so if any girl can come over to my house rite now i would greattttly appreciate it. I sleep a lottt better when im holding someone, so COME ON Over . Ouuuuu I Love Black METAL!!" -javi ......... ok i lost my wallet. this is very depressing. it had money in it. i could care less about the money. more importantly, there was a picture of my hotass heros, the backstreet boys, in it, and now its lost. i am dying. someone please come over and help me find the damn thing! ......... and i finally watched moulin rouge due to ryan's pleading and promising that i would love it. and good for him i did. last night i could not go to sleep at all. so around 12 am ish i just got up and went to my computer and stuck in the Moulin Rouge Dvd i've had from him this whole summer. it didnt help me sleep any better but i enjoyed watching it until like, 3 in the morning. i love living the night life (speaking of the moulin rouge.. LoL). ewan mcgregor was wonderful. i was getting really nervous during the opening night scene where the duke was about to shoot christian, but then harold popped up and punched him. i actually said, thank god for harold. ha even though he was a pimp. the movie was really good. it was colorful but not showy, like in a tawdry sense... . it was sad but not a tragedy. it was well, sexy, but not raunchy. it was romantic but not unrealistically CHEESY! (i hate those movies). god that movie was great. then i still couldn't sleep so i stayed on and surfed peoples myspaces. for some reason a weird parody song to southasian fobs popped up everytime i opened someones space. very disturbing. listening to that while listening to the mariah carey songs keith kept sending me (thank you very much however) got very... cacophonious and also just plain creepy. so then after IMing no one because no one was there to save me from insomnia... well haha someone was but he wasnt responding, quite alright because i understand no one's world revolves around me, especially at 4 in the morning. i decided to go to sleep. .. i just lay there thinking about if maybe I would sleep better if I were holding someone. then i realized that probably all the moulin rouge "love" this "love" that was getting to me... especially having watched the Wedding Planner earlier that evening. (a corny and unrealistically cheesy movie). .. i would like to confess. i would love to love like that. for right now all i do is love as a friend, a sister, a daughter. and yes that is love all the same, because even then it is rare, and when i love someone its not a joke.. even though i make it seem like that when i say it (because i dont want to scare anyone or make them have to believe i love them if they dont want to believe it... i'm much too considerate when it comes to this matter. meh.) but thats the thing. love in that romantic way just DOES seem like a joke. i would like to meet my own Christian that would give me the love to "lift us up where we belong," and make me believe that we belonged there. in love. forever. how creepy. "caring is creepy" -the shins

Currently listening : Oh, Inverted World By The Shins Release date: 19 June, 2001