Hello Heart, Welcome to College! Part III --

"The Birds and the Bees"


So while I sit here enjoying myself and the air and the grass and the trees and the squirrel that came THIS close to me to find something in a hole in the hill that I was well-fated enough to be sitting by... a pair of hummingbirds enters the scene, swooping down from somewhere up above (where all birds swoop from) haha.

Well it's a pair of hummingbirds, and it's springtime, so you can probably guess what the conclusion is here.


But that's nothing I'm going to comment on.


I saw these hummingbirds, and then I noticed the couple a few meters away from me down the hill who had also noticed the hummingbirds. They had clearly taken an interest in this scene from the Discovery Channel, but from the slightly (and I wish I could describe this in other terms) immature looks on their faces, I could tell they weren't taking interest the same way say, an archaeologist takes interest in the Discovery Channel. Or the way my brother took interest in a pair of butterflies when he was a kid..

I was reminded of a time when my brother and I were playing together way back when. He must have been in elementary school and I think I had just entered Middle School. It was Spring Break, and we were running around in our back yard when a couple of butterflies flew over us, dancing around each other.

My little brother noticed them first, and he pointed out to me something he must have just learned in school, and in such a tone of wonder and amazement,

"Look! They're courtship dancing!"

...
It's funny because I remember the way I felt at that exact moment, and I feel it again and again every time I recall that memory. And usually in life the moments you most remember are the moments that evoke strong specific emotions, happy, sad, guilt, pride. But I remember this because of all of the different emotions I felt all at once. All driven by this little statement from this little guy. I was overwhelmed with respect and longing, for that sheer and untouched sense of innocence and wonder that children are really blessed with. "Look! They're courtship dancing!"He had said. --He was so amazed by this little ritual of nature, he was so purely happy to see in living color some little thing his teacher mentioned in class, to know what it was and have a chance to point out his newfound knowledge to me. I felt so good to be reminded of that in that moment, that sense of respect and awe, and so happy to see it in my brother, knowing that he was really living his childhood in that way, through wonder and admiration for the world. As good as I felt then, at the same time my knowing heart ached a little. Because nothing lasts forever and that was when I realized this. Me at that time, in middle school, I knew how kids could get. For some reason more kids laughed when we watched the "sex ed" video in 6th grade than in 5th grade. Dunno why that was and I'm not saying it's wrong to laugh, but I'm just saying that after a while that sense of wonder and innocence leaves some people. And maybe the sense of wonder does stay, and innocence stays, but the context of childhood doesn't, and again that thought just breeds a lot of mixed feelings.

But anyway, I really like that memory, and the feeling I get at the remembrance of taking so much enjoyment in learning new things and having respect for them. "Look! They're courtship dancing!" I'll never forget it.