Phuck Aesop's Phables

I just spent the past four hours asleep in bed trying to forget the wondrousness of a pair of pants I idiotically gave away some months ago.

Yes, I'm DEPRESSED over a PAIR OF PANTS and if this sounds ridiculous to you then kindly take your schitt elsewhere please, because around here I am not the one right now to be reminding about how some kids some where don't even have maps... (throwback to Miss Teen South Carolina anyone?)

I've often heard stories about people who lost their security stuffed animals or some other emotionally relevant item. I guess the point of me trying to remember these anecdotes is to immerse myself in the factual, communal, "it happens"-- but no. Rather, I'm even more upset that even after 20-something years, people still don't forget about the things they loved and once had.

I would love to forget these pants right now. Taking a depression-induced nap doesn't help either, fyi to all of you still reading this (thank you as always, you're the ones that know I'm probably actually going somewhere with all this). What the nap consisted of was me discovering the pants in what must have been the first hour of sleep, followed by a three hour jaunt through the fashion realm which was probably offered to me as a result of those amazing faded green cargo pants that had as many hidden wonders as Mary Poppins' carpetbag, only to wake up and realize

"It was all a dream."

Talk about a B.I.G. disappointment.

So don't do that.

I'm trying to get over this loss, clearly. Let's go back to AP Psych... Denial? Check. Anger? Check. Good cry, check. Nap, check (I may have inserted these phases of grievance on my own..) Bargaining (searching endlessly online for a pair of pants I bought nearly eight years ago...) check check. Depression-- CHECK.

And now all that is left is acceptance.

Acceptance. Hm. And this is where fricken AESOP comes into play.

Naturally, as part of the Bargaining phase I assume, would come a time when someone grieving at a loss of something would begin to tell themselves something along the lines of "It probably wasn't that great anyway; those pants were probably going to fall apart while I was walking..." yadda yadda yadda.

Well, thanks to good ol' Aesop and his pal, the fox who couldn't get the grapes, any time I start to formulate these types of picker uppers, I'm left thinking, "Who am I kidding. Clearly those pants WERE that great and I'm just saying this now because I don't have them." One can only imagine that though I can laud myself for my firm grip on reality,

reality bites.

I'd much rather have gone to sleep believing that those pants were probably actually really on their way out, and dreamed instead about a fabulous new pair of floral harem pants or something.

"It is easy to despise what you cannot get"

Clearly. But if you once had it, I say,

despise away.

The same may not apply to PEOPLE we once had, but I'm sure you are all intelligent enough to have made that distinction.

Anyway. I'm off to go mope until utility wear is no longer trendy. Just kidding. I'm off to go tell myself how its not that great anyway. (Wish me luck.)

Thins that came up today:

• Chinese food
• People eating alone in restaurants. Or doing anything alone. They turn me on. You?
• Videos on YouTube of puppies playing with babies
• Cats are cute too.
• Conservative dresses that make you go WOW (a la Sienna --after the jump)
• Travis "Love Will Come Through" (after)

Thanks everyone. I surprisingly feel really okay.

=)